Quoted phrases part 15

Of course he's happy; anyone who desires nothing is happy. -- The Winner Stands Alone by Paulo Coelho (book) 

If you believe in victory, then victory will believe in you. -- The Winner Stands Alone by Paulo Coelho (book)

Normal is getting married, having  children, and staying together long after all love has died, saying that its for the good of the children (who are, apparently deaf to the constant rows). -- The Winner Stands Alone by Paulo Coelho (book)

The mirror reflects perfectly; it makes no mistake because it doesn't think. To think is to make mistakes. -- The Winner Stands Alone by Paulo Coelho (book)

If sin achieves something good, it is a virtue, and if virtue is deployed to cause evil, it is a sin. -- The Winner Stands Alone by Paulo Coelho (book)

Life has many ways of testing a person's will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once. -- The Winner Stands Alone by Paulo Coelho (book)

A serial killer doesn't just threaten our physical safety, he threatens our sanity too. Because whether we like it or not, we all carry around in us a great destructive power.. The desire to take someone else's life. -- The Winner Stands Alone by Paulo Coelho (book)

Big promoters know that regardless of how much blood is being spilled in the world right now, people will always prefer photos depicting an ideal and inaccessible life of luxury. -- The Winner Stands Alone by Paulo Coelho (book)

Charlie: Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?
Teacher: We accept the love we think we deserve. -- The Perks of Being a Wallflower (film) 

Chicks dig hot guys who're willing to get naked for a calendar. But what they're really looking for is a guy who get naked emotionally. -- Glee S04E12 (tv series)

Do you know why they say your look is also a talent? Because it's something you can change with effort. There is no ugly woman in the world. Only lazy women. -- Dream High S01E08 (kdrama)

There are two kinds of angry people in this world: explosive and implosive. Explosive is the kind of individual you see screaming at the cashier for not taking their coupons. Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and finally shoots everyone in the store. -- Anger Management (film)

If one side was for sure 100%, that will not be a choice, but the actual answer. 50/50. Because it's hard, that's why it's called "choosing". -- Dream High

When a person looks at you, you're like this puzzle (rubix cube) that's all matched up. Perfect. Because its so put together and perfect, you can only hold it and look at it. There's nothing a person can do for you. Become like this (mismatched rubix cube), so that someone can help fulfill you. -- Dream High 2

Believing in everything at the same time is the same a snot believing in anything at all. -- Life of Pi (film)

Doubt is useful. It keeps faith a living thing. After all you can not know the strength of your faith until it's being tested. -- Life of Pi

What hurts the most is not being able to say goodbye. -- Life of Pi

Fear cuts deeper than swords. -- A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin (book)

They are too different and yet too much alike, and neither could ever stomach the other. -- A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin (book)

My entire life, people have always told me that I was stupid. And after a while, I started to believe them. It wasn't until... I walked in this room... and I joined this club... that I really started believing in myself. As soon as I started believing that maybe I was smart after all, I think the whole world did too. -- Glee S04E22

Sure it is (me). You've just never seen me like this. You... don't know what I look like when I'm not in love with you. -- Stephen to Elena The Vampire Diaries S04E11

If she asked me to stay, I wouldn't have left. If she had asked me to stay, I wouldn't have gone back. Why is it so complicated with you.. (girls)? Can't you just say what you want? --  Flower Boy Next Door ep 15 (kdrama)

Do you know how hard it is for a girl to ask first? You told me to say what I want to say.  Just say "okay". --  Flower Boy Next Door ep 15 (kdrama)

Belief, like fear or love. Is a force to be understood as we understand the theory of relativity. The principles of uncertainty. Phenomena that determine the course of our lives. -- Cloud Atlas (film)

These forces that often remake time and space. That can shape and alter who we imagine to be. Begin long before we are born, and continue after we perish. Our lives and our choices and their quantum trajectories are understood moment to moment. And each point of intersection, each encounter, suggest a new potential direction. -- Cloud Atlas (film)

I fell in love with... (her). Is this possible? I just met her. And yet, I feel, like something important has happened to me. -- Cloud Atlas (film)

Father-in-law: There is a natural order to this world and those who try to upend it do not fair well. This movement will never survive... And for what? For what? No matter what you do, it will never amount to anything more than a single drop in a limitless ocean.
Son-in-law: What is an ocean? But a multitude of drops. -- Cloud Atlas (film)

I need to be with a man who's sure of what he wants. And, that was never you. -- Prettty Little Liars S02E08. 

I want to. It's my disease. I just keep wanting to believe you. But how can I? When every turn you gave me reason to doubt you. I don't know you. I don't know that I ever will. -- The Vampire Diaries S04E18

I never had any intention of moving on. Truth is, I tried to stop thinking about you. But I can't.. What are you so afraid of?.. Wouldn't it be more accurate to say you are afraid of yourself? Your darkest desires.. Deep down, you long to have your perfect feathers ruffled. -- Klaus to Caroline from The Vampire Diaries S04E21 

Sometimes when something is going really good for me. I screw it up before someone else can. It's a habit I'm trying to break. -- Pretty Little Liars S02E12

Tina Fey lost her virginity at like 27, Okay? And she's pretty cool I think. You're gonna be mindblowing at sex! I mean, if your body can keep up with your mouth, you are gonna make some guys head just pop right off his neck. And being in love when you do it, only gonna make it better. -- For A Good Time Call (film)

You need to let go of the past. So you can have a future. -- Ice Age 2 (film)

Of course it's none of my business! That's why I need to know! -- Castle S04E10

Be bold! Mighty forces are gonna come your way. -- Pretty Little Liars S02E17

"Korra: What do you think I should do?
Mako: I guess you should do what you think is right. I support whatever decision you make.
K: Owwww thanks. Thats a BIG help.
M: I thought you wanted me to be supportive? Now you want me to tell you what I think? Make up your mind!" -- Avatar: The Legend of Korra S02E01

Hannah: I don't get it. You knew how long it took me to trust you again. Why would you ruin that?
Caleb: I didn't think you'd find out.
Hannah: Wow. Wrong answer. -- Pretty Little Liars S02E18

You seem embarassed by loneliness. By being alone. Its only your place to start. --  Sabrina (film)

Save me... You're the only one who can. -- Sabrina (film)

An easy solution is like a light and a storm. Rush forward with your peril for it might not always lead you to a safe harbor. -- Merlin S01E03

Letters to Juliet - Confusing Anxiety

Whirlwind Romance

It's been a along time since I last posted on my blog. It's been 5 months. Wow. What have I been doing? Ow yeah. I remember. I was in a state of stupor. The drugs finally addled my brain. Hahaha. Anyway, I have a new series of letters I am going to post. Finally! I have an addition to my collection. This time, It's my story. :D Stay tuned! ^^


____________________________________________________________________________

A message to him
177-G T.Padilla Street
Cebu City
August 22, 2013


Dear lovelife,


I had done some thinking. Which I'm sure you're well aware of. And I came to a realization that it only boils down to one single question. A question that most Filipina women do not ask. Something we usually wait from our men. I think it's something you wont know because it seems you didn't research on Filipinas and our culture like I told u too. Hehe. It will take a lot of courage for any decent Filipina to ask it. More especially to white men. As most of the times we're really just afraid we might not like the answer. And lose face. Haha. Do you understand where Im getting at? Probably no. Haha. (Talking to myself again.) This is something that is expected from our men. It's understandable if you don't get this logic since we must have cultural differences. (And I'm becoming a teacher now. Hehe.)

I'm getting really confused. And I hate staying confused. Its like some mind game. A battle of wills. If you have time to read my about me in [social network concealed] again, you will understand why. ^^ [about me concealed] I have my own personal reservations about this as well which also adds up to my confusion  (the stuffs I was thinking about that I didn't want to tell you). I wanted to wait for you to bring anything up that's why I wanted you to ask me one question but you didn't seem to take it seriously. Hehe. I'm not sure what you're reasons are or if you have any. But since you owe me one question, I'm gonna ask only one question too. And your answer will depend on where this will go. Or if there's any follow up questions.

This is me trying to get some peace of mind before you go. So I wouldn't have to think about bad things (if you know what I mean) while you're away because I have already laid my cards. I don't know if this is too early and if this will scare you off because right now, I just really need confirmation once and for all.
I have observed that you don't show feelings nor acknowledge anything emotional between us. And you probably observed the same with me. I can't even determine if there's a silent agreement that we are being exclusive or not. We must have our reasons and lets keep it to ourselves until we can sort this out. If we can. ^^

"INSTRUCTIONS"
I wanted to ask this in person but you didn't ask to see me so I'll just do it here. Please don't answer yet. No. I'm "ordering" you not to answer until you get back from Coron. (This is a serious request.) Do not text me as well as I won't be. Because I will try my best not to. And you know I'm driven. I want you to think about it. And also have fun there without having to be pressured at anything. You know just think about it. Haha. So I wont expect any text or msg from you until Thursday ok? If you don't have an answer at all by Thursday  I'll take it as a negative. And don't worry, I won't take it against you. (This is the extent of my awesome kindness. Hehe.) I'm sure you've realized I have quite a number of self-inflicted rules. But they always say, that's what makes me interesting. ^^ So after this lengthy disclaimer which can already qualify as a blog (haha), here's my question...

"What are we?/What do you want with me?"

This might be a lot of questions but if you really think about it, it means the same thing. It means one direct question that I didn't want to ask. Yet. ^^


Yours truly,

Leah

_______________________________________________________________________________


Everybody who knows me can attest that I am not the emotional type. Somebody even told me once that I am cold-hearted. Emotionally barren. Heart of stone. You name it. I have this facade of the unfazed, strong-willed, indifferent-to-the-world kind of aura that people deem as my strength. But is it? :)

I used to shy away from suitors. I remember during high school days, I even tore a letter given by someone I didn't like. I even asked a friend to return the girly stickers that came with it. Such a meanie. Or probably that was my defense mechanism of an affection that I am not used to having or showing. I come from a dysfunctional family where even saying, "happy birthday, happy mothers/fathers day, merry christmas" and the like is seriously awkward. Believe me or not, I don't believe I have ever greeted my parents on any occasion yet. That's how seriously low our emotional quotient is. I pride myself of being calm and composed. I don't easily get upset nor panic about anything. Except of course earthquakes and cockroaches. :D But there are things I can't handle very well. I can not handle people crying in front of me. Nor friends who are used to hugging. Or sweet couples on the street. I get uneasy. And I hate staying uneasy. I guess I hate things that destroy my peaceful disposition eh? :)

Then I realized that I can't stay emotionally unattached if I am searching for the one thing that I can not seem to have but have always prayed for. LOVE. Yeah. Such a big word. I am not a fan of big words. PROMISES. PLEDGES. OATHS. I don't believe in that. But I do believe in action. TRUST, LOYALTY, FAITH. Do you see the difference? Big words are just WORDS. While action is REAL. However, words without realization is empty. Realization without affirmation is confusing. The two must complement to reach a certain understanding. Give and take.

I had never quite understood the logic behind relationships. Because the only relationship I had that was close to love was friendship. Most of the times, I get them confused. And so gave me my self-inflicted heartbreaks. One-sided longings. Unrequited love interests. I vowed, after my last almost lover, that I will not fall again first. That next time, we must meet halfway. Ideal. But then as with ideals, it's also almost impossible. I have to change myself too. My expectations, perspective, and apprehensions.

I had been dating for almost a year now. I meet. I like. I fall. He falters. He breaks. I hurt. I move on. I meet. And it was a never ending cycle. I remember a quote I stumbled upon in my reading,

"I think that when we look for love courageously, it reveals itself, and we wind up attracting even more love. If one person really wants us, everyone does.But if we're alone, we become even more alone." -- By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept (book) 

This struck me. Indeed, it's true. You don't wait for love. You look for it. And you embrace it. And this is me braving the seas. I'f I am not there yet at my destination, at least I'm closer to it than where I was before. ^^

I want

In my fairy tale world.

Him: What do you want?
Me: I don't know...


Later, I realized that,


I want....

I want what every girl wants.
I want even the silly little things.
I want courtship.
I want dating.
I want candlelit dinners.
I want sunsets by the beach.
I want movies and popcorn.
I want flowers.
I want letters.
I want gifts.
I want you.

I want to feel I'm somebody elses.
I want possessiveness.
I want to be spoken for.
I want to brag your mine.
I want to be yours.

I want to be a fool.
I want to be jealous.
I want you to be jealous.
I want the petty little fights.
And then make up.
I want to cry.
With joy. Or with pain.
I want to laugh.
I want your smile.

I want to hold hands.
I want to hug.
I want to cuddle.
I want to kiss.
I want intimacy.
I want romance.

I want sincerity.
I want loyalty.
I want trust.
I want involvement.
I want your secrets.
I want to tell you mine.
I want to share moments.
I want a relationship.

A serious relationship.

But.

You will never be able to give me that.
We want different things from each other that's a fact.
I can't stand that type of pain.
I vowed I'll never have unrequited love again.

To quote: "I resisted you not for the lack of love. But because I was afraid of losing myself in it."