DABDA part 1

Whip your hair back and forth. Shake them off.

Being in a hidden relationship, you would think it’s some high school forbidden love affair that requires sneaking out in the middle of the night or going out during the weekends telling your parents you’re with friends. It is, in a way, a little of both. But with bigger repercussions.
Beware, as this is going to be a rather lengthy discussion about the intricacies of breakups. This is mainly for those who are first timers in the field of heartbreak. Or those who are not really first timers but haven't done the process of healing properly since they started dating. I hope this can help.
You see, I am pure Filipina. He is traditional and pure Chinese. We had different worlds. But then again, these situations are not rare. This has happened to quite a number of Chinese men and women since the beginning of time. And eventually what it all boils down to, is if the Chinese partner will fight for you or not. I had stumbled upon a blog specifically about the Chinese interracial relationships, the hardships and cultural differences, written by a Western woman who married a Chinese man inside China - On the Rarity of Foreign Women and Chinese boyfriends/husbands. I only read this particular blog post and do not intend to read any more of them as it pains me too much to know that even a Chinese man living in China, preferred to date and marry a western woman. While I, Filipino (Asian) and he Chinese (Asian), BORN and RAISED in the Philippines as well, could not even bring to hold my hand in public out of fear. You can see why by the end of our relationship I would feel so little about myself that, I must have shrunk to the size of Tinkerbell. More of that later.

The trouble with star-crossed lovers in books, movies, and fairy tales is that, their knight in shining armour is almost always, a GALLANT knight. It polluted the minds and created the hopeless romantics around the world. I was once a hopeless romantic myself. I struggled to get out of it. But I know I had to, because most of the times my day dreaming just doesn’t make sense anymore. Borderline cheesy and stupid. I blamed my high school years worth of reading pocketbooks and novels, watching teleseryes and koreanovelas, that I became so hopeless I was so positive about love. Boy was I proven wrong. As I’ve read more and more about life and the world, I no longer am a hopeless romantic. I’m just a romantic now. Doesn’t really totally die down unfortunately. Darn you Mr. Darcy! But as Katy Perry said, “It’s not like the movies. But that’s how it should be.” In reality though, most of the times, your knight turns out to be the devil in disguise. In my case, he was the “Rumplestiltskin” to my “Belle”. If you’ve watched Once Upon A Time (tv show), you’ll get it. Although that comparison is quite exaggerated. Simply put, he was the selfish coward (Rumple) who couldn’t go against his true nature and pull through for me (Belle). Not even for true love. But then again, was it really true love for you Rumple? In the end, maybe not.

Our story is nowhere near extraordinary. Just two people who loved and got hurt. As we all know, not a lot of exposure is being given to the stories that didn’t quite have the ending anyone would want to hear or see. No one writes about people who didn’t end up happy. And we understand. Because, no matter how cruel life can be, we always want to have that little hope that if other people can have a happy ending, so do we. I have loved and lost someone that was dear to me. Who at first I thought saved me from a solitary, robotic, meager of a life. And for a while there he did. Until his reality started sinking in, and I was left becoming the depressed, lonely, and unassured woman I would soon turn out to be.

In my 26 years of existence back then, I fell in love for the first time. I was whole and positively radiant. I had high hopes for the love I was deprived of for a long time. Really long time. You see, before I was ready for love, I was afraid of it. I cringed at the thought of intimacy. I was an emotionally unavailable woman. I had suitors that I shrugged off because I was afraid they would marry me instantly. (Not to brag, but I am slightly quite a catch. LOL.)But eventually, for some odd reason, I wanted it. Funny how the universe works, when you don’t need something, the universe provides it abundantly. But when you finally need it, it gives you nothing. Nothing at all. For 3 long years. Until I became desperate enough to feel what everyone was talking about. In the movies, books, radios, and songs. I wanted it so bad. My firsts. First real kiss, real dates, birthdays, Valentines, and Christmas with someone I love. And since I was desperate for the next flight out to love and adventures, I hopped onto the first plane that seemed to go to the same direction I was going. Or so I thought. However, these planes will land just like any other plane. I didn’t realize in time, mine was heading in the wrong direction. Or that maybe in between, I was the one who wanted to change course. It was then I realized where I actually needed to go. And then, as per Mr. Amari Soul, “You won’t realize you were on the wrong plane until you’ve landed in the wrong city and by then it’s too late.” By then you realize, you got stuck. In a plane you don’t want to get out of. Because some part of you believed, and continued to believe that the plane could land in the direction you wanted it too. If you gave all it needed, hang on to every turbulence, and compromise with seating priorities, you’d think eventually, the plane will perform the highest hacked programming of them all, change course for love. LOVE makes you hope that it can fuel the plane to go the extra mile. LOVE makes you believe you can move mountains, even aviation laws. Because, LOVE, in it’s finest form, can conquer the impossible.

However, you forgot that love must be two way. And must be reciprocated with (at least almost) the same intensity and passion, to provide the buoyancy you need to stay up in the air long enough to reach the same desired destination. But you can’t control love. You can’t control the plane. A lot of things can happen in between. Again as per Mr. Amari Soul, “What you can control is you. When you get to the airport, you pay attention to the signs so that you don’t waste hours of your life on the wrong plane just to end up in the wrong place and have to start all over. You should have a clear understanding of what you want and need and where you are trying to go. Then, you should pay close attention to the signs. If it appears that he is headed in a direction that is not where you want to go and he’s not willing to change course, get out before you waste years of your life just to wake up one morning and realize you’ve landed in the wrong place with the wrong man.”

Unfortunately, I did not get out in time. I was the hopeless romantic, head over heels girl to a guy who in more ways than one, flat out said, I refuse to see a future with you. The signs were blinking faster than ever. But just like any other hopelessly devoted individual, I ignored it. Until the time came when I couldn’t ignore it any longer. So there I was, landed in the wrong place with the wrong man. He left me at the airport to find the next flight back. Back to the easy life of luxurious travels, high-end feasts, spoon-fed jobs, and mapped out lives. Back to the comforts of wealth, security, and status quo that he was used to. Back to the world he belongs. Then there I was, left shivering in the unfamiliar city of loss and heartbreak. Unable to get a flight back to my world and my people. Looking dejected and pitiable, I walked around carrying a huge baggage of fears, anxieties, and low self-esteem. I was unrecognizable, even to myself. And for the first time in a long time, I was lost.

DENIAL

DABDA is the five stages of grief. Please do search it in google to understand the concept of DABDA. D for denial. A for Anger. B for Bargaining. D for depression. A for Acceptance. These stages, by the way, does not occur in chronological order. Today you could be depressed, tomorrow you could be angry, or the next moment you could be in acceptance. Any time of the day you can be in all stages at once or one stage for an entire week. It is important to know that what’s happening is entirely normal. That was what I had to keep telling myself over and over again, because I kept freaking out. I felt like an insane person. For the first time, I felt pain I had never felt before. I haven’t felt pain of losing someone you see. I mean losing someone very dear to me over an illness or accident (God Forbid!). I have fortunately never had the chance to feel that. And I am truly grateful to THE PROTECTOR for it.  So, this kind of pain was very new to me. I have been through numerous emotional, physical, and financial pain in my life, believe me. They are in some of my blogs. I’ve had a series of unfortunate events that did not break me. I am a very strong willed woman. But heartbreak tested that. It broke me into fragments of unrecognizability. I had been depressed before but not like that. It was so different and alien to me that I had so much trouble coping. It felt like someone died. Or maybe because, a part of me did die and got chunked away somewhere far and unreachable. That’s where denial comes in.

The feeling of overwhelming loss and grief tends to overshadow the reality that you refuse to accept. Since your mind is protecting you from the barrage of emotions and memories you refuse to tackle, it gets lodged at the back of your head. You refuse to believe that what is happening is really happening, and therefore you do not feel the initial pain of loss. You believe the other party is not being serious, or will eventually change their mind, or will not be able to endure not having you in their lives and will definitely take you back. On the other hand, the ex-lover also has his/her own thoughts. He/she must be thinking, this is the right choice. I did the right thing by  turning my back against that uncertainty and close the chapter. I’m doing this for myself and my future. All these things run through your heads, while you go about your daily life and routine. Although rather spaced out and clumsy, but you are still able to do what you normally would do on a given day. But this doesn’t last long. It can last a few minutes, hours, or days, but it will stop. Eventually, reality will sink in. Once you see that no one is changing their minds. After you have talked to your friends, or the friends of your ex lover, and anyone who cares to listen. After you have brainstormed with them every little minute detail. After you have done "The last stand" by talking to your ex-lover one last time for closure, for the unanswered questions, the what if's and could be's, the empty promises and the bargaining, and ultimately the final NO. Then you realize, this is it. This is really it. The finality of the situation will open the floodgates of emotions. Like an avalanche. And you let yourself drown in it, whether with tears, or unlimited shots of alcohol. Congratulations my friend, you have reached the next level.

The good thing about denial is that, it protects you from that avalanche. Because, you would have not been able to cope if you get that avalanche on the first day. You will have died of a heartbreak. It would have consumed you like quicksand. Such is the beauty of our biological and physchological defense mechanisms. The unsurpressable urge to cry and breakdown is our body telling us to get the temporary relief from such emotional pain. If you haven't noticed, after you cry, you feel better, and be able to get that sleep that has eluded you the past few days. That is the start of the avalanche phase. That is baby steps. You will get closer and closer to the time you can start sleeping and eating properly again. Might take a few weeks but you'll get there. Taking vitamins will help. This is the perfect example that a process is important and necessary. You must realize this before you stupidly try to find shortcuts, pain relievers, or avoid pain entirely. You must realize this from the onset. Because if you don't realize this, if no one tells you how this works, you will end up prolonging the denial stage and by then you will realize months has already gone and you haven't progressed at all. It helps if you read articles about how to cope after a breakup. They tell you to create benchmarks. So you could see how you are progressing. I've reached certain benchmarks now that on the first or second month, I thought I would never be able to do again, like e.g. eating at one of our favorite restaurants. Although, you will regress, and it will keep happening. Just don't get depressed as to why. It is again, perfectly normal. Just go back to your baby steps. The articles help ease those anxieties and fears too about not being able to survive. If you don't have friends available as of the moment to talk to, read those articles. Hearing a multitude of testimonies from other people who had suffered a loss and came out better, helps you with the process. You will not understand when someone or everyone tells you that it’s going to get better because you currently feel that it will never happen. That is perfectly normal too. But trust me it will get better. If you follow the rules. It will get better if you have the discipline and willingness to overcome it. Read those articles. Search for them for whatever doubts or anxieties you encounter. The world wide web offers tons of psychological and emotional help if you only care to search. And in my country where there’s stigma about getting psychological help, the internet will be your ally. Make use of them. Because they helped me. They helped me so much. Trust me.

to be continued...

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Satellite-dialling

I looked up the meaning of CELLULAR PHONE in dictionary.com and it said, "a mobile telephone system using low-powered radio transmitters, with each transmitter covering a distinct geographical area (cell)" Urgh! I'm getting a nosebleed as we speak! Literally, cellular telephone = satellite telephone, telephone = dial. Hence the title satellite-dialling! Bwahahaha. Who knows, my invented definitions will be renowned someday. I make my own definitions you see. :D

Anywho, I was having a heated discussion with my estranghero about my twisted ideology on movie piracy when we stumbled upon our cellphone history. That was when we were watching IRREVERSIBLE. I know there's no connection whatsoever but that's just how we roll. The technology flashback reminded me of a blog my serious talker IMA wrote too. This blog is the same concept. Actually, a carbon copy! Except of course for the plotting. I'm no copycat. Again, this blogspot is my mental note to everything. Who knows, I might no longer be able to delineate this after, say what, 5 years more? The beauty of aging. :D


The first time I got a cellphone was during 2nd year high school. I'm quite certain it was during that time because, I always use it during my T.L.E. subject where we don't have majors yet. That subject gets seriously boring at times. ^^ I can't remember how much it was back then. I bought it in ORIENTE (Colon St.). You familiar with that stall you see inside, just left from the entrance? Yes, that cell shop! :D

Model: Motorola T180. Mine was white and has an orange backlight color. Amazing how I can still remember it. I usually don't remember details. :D

The money was of course from my sister. A birthday gift. So 'twas around July. Many people think I'm not an imperious person. Which is true. It depends on who I am with. I could be demanding as hell if we are super close. So yeah, I asked for a cellphone then. My sister's husband even asked, (after he knew I have one) why does she have a cellphone at that age? 'Twas quite uncommon in the states back then.

Now the first cellphone crashed down on me. Just a few days since I got it. So the same cell shop replaced it with this one. I liked the other phone. It looked classy. Besides, I was flabbergasted to see Paige Halliwell had the same exact phone from one Charmed episode! You don't get that a lot these days. Stars nowadays have way too expensive phones to emulate from. Anyway, I had this for about months. For some reason, I needed to give this phone to my brother. I'm not sure if it was voluntary or coerced. :D

Model: Motorola T2288. I know it had exact color as the pic but I guess lighting makes it more bluish than supposedly dark blue-green.

Funny story: I had my first textmate with this, still during T.L.E. class. (We had freedom during our time too, you know.) Do you remember using the chat feature that costs P2.50 per message? Yes, that's how I had my first textmate. His codename was Erick. Mine was Sheenie. (I heard that name from some tv show.) We're still texting until now. We're even FB friends. I wish we could meet one time. Maybe, once I can go to Manila. :)

Another funny story: This phone got lost. Well, we thought it was lost. My mom was even reprimanding me for going to my neighbor (Who has playstations, arcade games, and a dancepad. You know, just like a miniature gamezone. Super miniature. Haha.) and dancing my heart out. She thought I lost it there. Well, I thought, yeah maybe. After 2 weeks, I found the phone above my dresser!!! My drunk father must have put it there and could not remember he did. :)) We knew it was him because he's always like that. :D

Phones were getting smaller and smaller but bulkier. My motorola was replaced by this. I don't know how I got this phone. I even asked my mom about all this. But she can't remember much. I have a strong feeling it was sold by some dealer near our place. You know, cheap ones that are being pawned and wasn't claimed. Or probably it was stolen and they just really wanted money out of it. :D But I stopped using those kinds because of one traumatic event. You'll hear more about it after a few phones. :D

Model: Alcatel DB Max. Exact color. Exact backlights. The legendary orange lights and "Safeguard soap"-shaped phone. :))

This didn't last long either. I gave it to my other brother. Because I had a new phone. Nokia was rising up to the challenge. :D

I had this 3rd year high school. Someone from our place sold it to me. She wanted to buy a newer model. So I got this second hand. It was just used for a couple of months anyway so it was good as new. This was the era where casings are in demand and booming. From Tweety bird designs to rose patterned ones. I always buy new casings. It's like how I am with my bags, clothes, and shoes. Buying a lot and mix-matching it so it doesn't get worn out easily. Women. :D

Model: Nokia 5110i. Exact color. It was still in its original casing when I got it.

I liked this phone. Though I was getting irked with the stupid antennae! So I amputated it. Not me of course, but the technician. They said it will affect the signal if I touched the antennae too often. What a farce! It didn't even affect it after the pruning. :)) I had my reasons. I believe it was valid. :D Eventually, I gave this away again by the middle of the year. I gave it to my sister. Because I was so envious with my classmates who has a 3310. So I demanded again. :)

For the rest of my 4th yr in high school, I was using this. More and more people are getting phones then. I believe they saw the need for instant communication. The start where electronic mails are slowly being considered by OFW's. Where technology was no longer inexplicable. And computers were used for researching history projects. But internet cafe's were costly. I remember paying P25.00 per hour and printing was P15.00/page. All hail to wi-fi now! :D

Model: Nokia 3310. I had mine bought from the store so I had the original casing as this. I've always wanted to get the silver one but it was impractical. :D

Do you remember the upgrades? You know, when technicians can reprogram the phone to upgrade it to a higher model with more features? My brother has a friend who does that so I had mine upgraded to Nokia 3315 for free.

I'm not sure if this was an upgraded one but if the menu button says otherwise, then I guess this one was indeed upgraded. Mine had 6 bars for the signal and battery. Though it basically works the same way as 4 bars anyway. My menu button then, says LEI. So one would know it's mine. This one says Avaa, Ava my friend, is this yours? :))

This one had a sad story. People know me as gullible and trustful. I know that I am too. So you can say, before, I was even more gullible. :D To continue with the story, we were practicing for our graduation march so we needed to leave our bags either in our room or the SSG (Supreme Student Government) office. (I was in the top section you see and the entire student body belongs in our class so we had the luxury to use that room even for those who's not in office.) I grew tired with the weight my phone and my wallet is causing, in both my skirt uniform pockets. So I left it inside my bag during our afternoon practice. I got back, school was over, took the jeepney, and checked my bag at home. Boom! No phone. I didn't cry. I was never a crybaby. (You can say I'm cold. Haha.) But my parents went berserk. They kept on saying one of my classmates might have took it. I said, NO with finality. I may have lost it in the jeepney or maybe had been pick-pocketed. I refused to believe my school friends can do such a heinous crime, STEALING.

I was wrong. Through a series of unfortunate events, gossips, and two witnesses, the culprit was identified. It was indeed a classmate. And you know how we found out? The cellphone menu said LEI. :D I was not able to get it back though. I never confronted her. She didn't show the phone anymore right after I was able to go back to school. I never saw it too. So I didn't have the evidence nor the opportunity to indict. Case closed. We moved on.

You might be thinking if that was the reason I no longer buy pawned goods. No it wasn't. After that incident, life has been very difficult. As I've said, through a series of unfortunate events. :D So tough times as it is, I needed a phone especially that I was starting college. And just when you needed a very good deal with the devil's in disguise, nothing came except for one lousy 3210 that was as good as broken. But, beggars can't be choosers so I lived with it for a couple of months.

Model: Nokia 3210. I can't remember what color I had. I think, a rose patterned casing with neon blue backlights. The only thing I liked from that phone was the backlights.

Didn't last long because it broke down. This time, I wasn't able to give it away. It went to the WE BUY BROKEN PHONES shop. :D

I did warn you, the phones were getting smaller and smaller. Take a look at 8210. I never liked that one. I was always vying for 7250 back then because slide-ups, colored, and with cameras, were "the bomb". Unfortunately, I was still broke. I mean, we were still broke. So I had to buy this from a reconditioning shop. It felt like buying my old 3210. I bet they reconditioned it too. And I advice, DO NOT BUY RECONDITIONED PHONES. They crash a lot and doesn't work properly.

Model: Nokia 1100. Mine looked brand new so I had an original casing.

The good thing about this phone is the distribution list. A lot of other phones then didn't have one. And I was a texter so I needed the distro. Plus, the flashlight! I prefer this even to that 1200 and 3100 I always craved. But this didn't last long too. It kept on crashing so I gave it to my brother. Same one that I gave my alcatel to. Apparently, they can't keep phones either. It runs in the family? :D

There were lucky turns of events so I was able to get a phone with camera. This was during 2nd year in college. Another birthday gift from my beloved sister. I can still remember the moment we bought it. It's like a picture flashback. It was at the new White Gold mall. (The older mall got burned down. I'm not sure if accidentally or for insurace purposes. Haha.)

Model: Motorola C650. Same color. This one I can remember the price. Costs 4-5K. Era of the joystick phones. :D

I had this longer. About 2 years. I liked it too. It has a lot of features though mostly unnecessary. I liked the copy pasting. It has a distribution list too. Unlike Nokia phones that time. Camera was bad. Still a camera nonetheless. This one I gave away too. To my niece. She had it longer than me, but it crashed on her. Had it repaired by our neighbor who ran with it. Tsk2. I had a phone repaired by him that time too, my troublesome 1100. (I had it repaired for my bro.) Took him 2 months to return it. It was, I believe, a different phone. It had completely different menu's inside. Even text messages from God-knows-who. Still broken. Maybe from another customer he fooled. Funny because it was like hell broke loose when people from the neighborhood were pestering him to give back their broken appliances. :))

Another birthday gift from my sister. My sister gives me the most expensive gifts. Because I don't ask things often. Only during my birthday. :D Anyway, this was start of my 4th yr in college. Had this until I graduated, got my job, and 13th month pay. Roughly 3 years.

Model: Nokia 6101. Same color. No options to change casings until after about a year. Didn't want to change it anyway because it might not fit and regret it after. Costs P8,500. It was a new release you see. Era of the flip top phones. :D

Gave this away after I got my Nokia 5530. No use in having three phones. I gave it to my nephew. I had promised him this since it was brand new. "Promises are meant to be broken." - doesn't work for me. So much for chivalry. :)) Unfortunately, my nephew lost it, after not even a month, during a Bamboo concert. The git pocketed it in a crowd of people. Thick-head. Pardon my words. Those serve as endearment really. :D I wasn't mad because he lost it. I was mad because he wasn't even able to enjoy it long. I was mad at him for always being careless. That had sentimental value. So I didn't talk to him for months. I could be that proud. :D

Funny story: This phone almost got snatched. I was with my solid college friend Annie at highway, Mandaue trying to find a jeepney to Talisay. This bald, brown, fat guy was beside us on the waiting shed. Annie was using her phone but tucked it inside her tight pocket jeans right after the guy came. I was wearing a Lacoste imitation pouch where I kept my phone. If that guy hadn't heard me say, "Kadugay mo reply!" or why isn't she replying faster as I was checking into the pouch, he wouldn't have wrestled the pouch from me. Unfortunately, he did. To my defense, he didn't look the type. And that was one mistake we all make. Especially from someone like me who had always been cautious. :D So this is the reason why I no longer buy pawned/(probably stolen) goods. It makes me feel like sh*t. :))

The product of my first pay from my first job as a call center agent. What a glorious feeling. I BOUGHT my first phone! :D Since I had a job, gifts from my sister were digital cameras or a pocket full of money. *singing* "Don't cha wish your sister was cool like her? Don't cha?" Nyahahaha. Just playing around.

Model: Samsung M620. Same color. I got the silver one because it looked classy. If you had noticed, most of my phones are either white or silver. I like my gadgets white if possible. Even if you say it gets dirty easy. Costs P5,300. Era of the slide-up phones.

I like to buy phones that are the latest mania. I do not believe in going with what's "uso" or the fad. As they just pass or makes you look like everyone else. Though there is safety in that. Anyway, I had this for over a year, but it got broken and no more warranty. So it sat in my travelling bag waiting to be repaired. Tsk2. I was planning to give it away mind you. You cant give away a broken phone now, can you? :D (This actually got repaired eventually and I gave it away to my brother.)

Product of my first 13th month pay. Good thing I had this on installment. The most expensive phone I have yet at that time. :D After my 6101, I had this need for 2 phones. Wait, there's a difference with NEED and WANT. So I'll say, I wanted to have 2 phones at the same time. :D One is for everyday, the other is for special occasions. The costlier is always the one for special occasions. You can't risk carrying expensive stuff these days. Unless you put them somewhere clandestine. :))

Model: Nokia 5530. Era of the touch-screen phones. Again, white with blue linings. Superb camera. 4GB memory. Highlight: Wi-fi ready. Costs: P12,300. Expensive yeah. But I love this phone. My Christmas gift to myself. :D

I rarely use it now. I mainly use it as an alarm clock. I need two alarm clocks you see. This one has my globe so I don't use it much. Wherever my sun sim is, that's the phone I carry and use. :D It has it's downtime too. Blacks out sometimes and hangs. Ow well, nothing's perfect. :D

After I resigned from my first job. I was super broke. I waited for my last paycheck for 2 months. I needed a second phone. And when I got the paycheck around May, I bought this. Though a chinaphone. What I liked about chinaphones is the dual-sim feature. Though it doesn't work properly. My advice again: DO NOT BUY CHINAPHONES. Though it's cheap, it doesn't work properly and gets broken easily.

Model: Nokia 6300 chinaphone. Same color. China can really make good imitations huh? Costs: P1,400. Era of the chinaphones. :D

In two months, I didn't like it anymore so I sold it to my nephew for P800. (I need to say he's 21 yrs old and working so you won't think I was taking advantage. :P) . A rather good bargain for him right? I learned after a few months, the phone got broken. I felt guilty so I gave him my red Samsung S630 when I got my new Kodak ZD15 in July. Hehehe. :D

When I got my 2nd job, I had to buy a durable phone while waiting for my first pay. My handy dandy phone. They say there are 2 types of cellphones. One that you need to take care of and one that can be just garbage. This one is with the latter. :D Don't take me wrong. I love this phone. This is the best counterpart of 1100. I've been trying to find one that matches 1100 but since it went faced out, couldn't find another. Bought this at Cellpod. That cellphone stalls you see in SM.

Model: Nokia 1202. Same color. Couldn't find one in white that looks good. Black is better for this. Costs: P1,200. Very cheap but durable. Has flashlight and distribution list. The only thing I care about. :))

Since my samsung got broken, I needed to get a second phone. So I went for something really cheap but authentic so I don't have to worry about a broken phone and being mugged at dawn. As I work at dawn. :D My sun sim is with this one so I carry it with me anywhere. You see, my sun sim always has load. :D

Then there was the proposition of postpaid plans. Got this a few months after I started on my 2nd job around January of 2011. They had this partnership with Globe Telecom where they go to our work place and offer plans to us without the need to submit that much requirements. Just a copy of our past 2 payslips and their application form. Then voila! You get your phone for free in the next few days and subscribed to their postpaid plan. Easy breezy!

Model: Blackberry Curve 8520. That picture is my actual phone with my selfie on the wallpaper and my painted nails. (I do my own nail art by the way. :D) I forgot how much that phone cost that time but my plan was a fixed 500 monthly plan for 2 years and I had to cash out P6,000 still. Era of the QWERTY phones.

If you had noticed, I try to buy phones with different functions and different styles for different eras. I don't like going back to the same brand with the same slightly upgraded models. There's no challenge in that! I liked this phone for the convenience in typing it provided. It's not touch screen. It's more of joystick menu (less the joystick itself). But blackberry offered a lot of promos. They actually started the BBSOCIAL promos that are now what the other telecommunication companies offer. Different set of promos for different needs. Like if you just want FB or twitter. Or both. Or just surfing. They started the trend of personalizing your own data plans. I had this phone for more than 2 years in fairness! I finished my contract with Globe and even went for more months. But I had to discontinue my subscription as I was planning on getting a new phone. I gave this to my other brother around March of 2013 in lieu of getting my Samsung Grand. I think he still has it today.

Before my Samsung Grand though, I bought an IOS phone. (So I had both Blackberry and iPhone. I mainly use the blackberry for texting then. Because it always had load. I was a Globe girl for 2 years.) This was the product of my bonus from my job which you can call a 14th Month bonus. Haha. All hail Papa Jamie! (That's what we call our CEO) So I bought this around April of 2012 because I wanted to try Apple phones. I was really curious. I had an iTouch 4th Gen and I loved it. It was from my sister, so it's second hand. It's not a phone so it's not on this list. I had that iTouch for about 3 years too and gave it away to my niece since I got the iPhone.

Model: iPhone 4S. Actual phone picture with me and my niece and my Sitch casing. (I love Stitch!) Hehe. It was very costly! P25,000 for just a phone! I can buy a laptop for that amount then. Era of the IOS phones.

I can therefore conclude that I don't like apple devices unless it's an iPod shuffle. Like the tiniest one for music tripping. Haha. I liked it for a time being considering the high def camera it had. A first at that time. And I was into the raw photography kind of gal back then. Not the selfie kind because it's front cam sucked. Haha. Their front cam was always bad until now with the iPhone 5 and 6. Which is so impractical I can't understand why people buy it. Although there are postpaid plans but I'm pretty sure you still need to cash out on that! Anyway, I had this phone for over a year. I didn't like it anymore because first, I can't bluetooth. Second, downloading songs and syncing to iTunes all the time is a hassle. Third, they don't have that much free apps. Fourth, it gets boring over time.  They say most people like Apple because it's user friendly. However, I am the techy kind so it's kind of baby play for me. When I got my Samsung Grand, it became an alarm clock until the time I was able to sell it. Haha. Sold it for P14,000. Half the price. Ow well. Depreciation. Although, I really regret the part of not having the Stanza app where I can find mainstream books for free! That app is not on Android unfortunately! :(


The following year, I bought an Android phone around March of 2013. (Then I gave away my blackberry. And became a SUN girl again.) Another product of our 14th Month bonus. Papa Jaime you're the best! This time I wanted an Android phone. Because it's how smartphones should be! (Bias much?) I liked the big screen, multi-functionality, sleek design, and practicality (very important since phones depreciate fast these days).

Model: Samsung Galaxy Grand Duos I9082. Actual picture of phone and packaging with my pocketbook and small hand. Hahaha. Cost: P17,000.  It came with a free original samsung flip casing. Era of the Android phones.

I had this one for a good long 1 year and 11 months to be exact. Longest time I have gone without buying a new second phone. I still have it now. It's pending to be sold. I don't like giving my gadgets away now. I gather they don't take care of it as much as I do because they get broken fast so It breaks my heart too and now I'd rather sell it instead. I hope I can sell it for at most P4,000? Crossing my fingers. Hahaha. I'm trying to sell it because I now have a new phone. I had to let go of this one because it has become too slow for my needs. I needed a quadcore phone, with at least 13MP back cam and 5MP front cam, with a 16GB memory and a dual sim purpose for less than P15,000. I know it must be a miracle to find one with a good brand. But, I did find one closer to that specs! And it's awesome!

Product of my Tax Refund! Bought this January of 2015. I like buying something out of my bonuses because it makes me feel like they went somewhere with a purpose. And not just spent on binge buying clothes and other women stuff. Hahaha. This is the kind of phone design I've always wanted. Rectangular, pointy edge, slim and big screen with my favorite color!

Model: Sony Experia C3. Actual phone picture and packaging with my blanket and my pretty hand. Haha. Cost: P14,500. It came with a free monopod. Era of the quadcore phones.

This is close to the specs I've always wanted. Plus the design was the right fit. And... price wise, it's perfect! I haven't tried Sony phones too and I've heard good things about them (except for the waterproof ones). I love the Answering Machine feature! And the flash feature for the front cam! Totally a selfie phone as it has declared itself to be. I suggest you don't buy the mainstream ones because they give you specs which always lack something. They won't give it to you in full unless you buy their expensive slightly upgraded models. I wanted the Asus Zenphone 6 but it wasn't quad core. It would have been perfect too. I also wanted the Acer Liquid X1 with the octa-core feature but it was pricey. I think the next trend will be the OCTACORE phones. I hope they make one less pricey. I'll wait for it! :D


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Quite a long read huh? I update this from time to time. Well it's my blog and it's my mental note to everything so don't complain. Hahaha. Til next update! ^^