Blue Christmas

Somebody once asked, have you ever been alone in a crowded room? I said, yeah, usually. I was known for having my own world and spacing out often. And I reveled in the thought of such recognition. Exaggerated much. :)

Christmas is nearing but I can't feel it's spirit. Especially when your kins are not helping. You start giving. Then you are expected to give. Then they'll want more. You extend a hand, they'll want your arm. When you can no longer provide, you're the bad arse. Is this what you call Christmas??? But enough of that because that is a different issue I could not yet afford to disclose. On a different note, I am BORED. Despite all the parties, outings, and jam packed scheds, I feel BORED for the first time since I can remember.

One thing I could pride of is that, I rarely get bored. And that's mostly because I can brainstorm with myself and my other self. Or what someone just told me, my IMAGINARY friends. I'm bored and sad, hence my fb status, "Life has finally gotten to my nerves. This has become the saddest time of my year. I wish there was a cure. But the impairment is irreparable that even the highest dosage of anti-deppressants wouldn't suffice."

Let me make it clear, I do not take joy in feeling miserable. I'm no masochist. I recoil in the slightest of pain as what I always said for having low pain threshold. Choosing to be happy had somehow worked for me for the past years, until NOW. I am not known for complaining about the rest of the world. That is not my burden to take. As I had just told someone in response to the above status... " I am not the sad person you think I am. If you ask people, they'd think I don't have a problem with the world. Nobody ever sees me sad. I do not show it. But I share my thoughts to the closest of friends. What I tell the world is not even 1/4 of what I think. I am not sad just because of all my misfortunes or who i'm with. If I had given in to that, I would have been insane since I was a kid. There are far greater things in the world that most people do not care about or failed to value because they have it. I am not saying I am deprived. But to the most essential parts, I am. Don't you think I have not been choosing to be happy? I would not last a day in the world if I don't. But choosing to be happy is different from gaining happiness. All the overkill is tiring. Think of having to do it since time immemorial. It get's exhausting. Even to the best of us. I have vowed never to give up on life. But I'm not ecstatic of the thought that I'm on the brink of it. Do not worry about me though. I can take care of myself. "

That partially wraps it all up. Everything is indeed becoming an overkill for me. I don't want to say that maybe the universe is conspiring against me because that is just seriously egotistical. But I'd like to point out that even though I am a speck in the dust, I still EXIST. Who would think for myself but me? I can't depend on others to care. Nor can I force others to get involved.

The point of the matter is, if in the gaieties of it all and yet you do not feel a part of it, something is OFF. I am not sure if it is because you're doing a lot of things that it doesn't make sense anymore. It's like asking, what are you doing with your life? What's in it for you? Everything seems like a temporary aid to the void. But afterwards, you dwell back to the hollow depths. I have never seen myself in a worst state. I shudder to think that for the rest of my life, I might live outside my mind. But that's just me being morbid. Nothing has ever scared me more than THAT. :)

J

A, B, C, D, E, F, H, I, J, K


Jab - a poke; punch; sharp thrust
Jabbering - chattering rapidly and indistinctly; unintelligible talking
Jargon - confused; unintelligible talk; a mixture of two or more languages
Jeers - scoff; ridicule
Jiffy - an instant
Jittery - extremely nervous
Jocular - making jokes
Jovial - convivial/festive; merry
Juvenile - youthful

I

A, B, C, D, E, F, H, I, J, K


Idyll - account of picturesque scene or incident; such scene, etc.
Ignominious - something shameful or disgraceful; despicable
Impeccable - not liable to sin; faultless
Impede - to obstruct; hinder
Imperturbed - calm; cool; self-contained; not easily disturb
Impetuous - rushing with force and violence
Impudent - rudeness;straightforwardness
Incongruous - reciprocally disagreeing; inharmonious
Incredulous - skeptical; unbelieving
Inane - senseless; empty
Indelible - not to be blotted out, effaced, or obliterated
Indictments - a written accusation against a prisoner presented by a grand jury to a court
Indignation - anger at what is unworthy; unjust; dishonorable; anger mingled with contempt or disgust
Indolent - indulging in ease; avoiding labor; lazy
Ingenue - naive
Iniquitous - wicked; unjust
Innate - inborn; native
Innocuous - harmless
Inquests - a judicial inquiry
Insatiable - that can not be appeased/satisfied
Insidious - treacherous; deceitful
Insipid - without flavor; tasteless
Insouciant - indifferent
Interred - to bury; burried
Intricate - entangled or involved
Ire - anger; passion
Irks - weary: being tired

H

A, B, C, D, E, F, H, I, J, K


Haberdasher - a dealer in small wares, as ribbons, lace, tapes, needles, etc.
Hackneyed - worn-out; made common
Harbinger - a precursor; forerunner
Harem - the wives and concubines of a Mohammedan
Haywire - badly disorganized; out of control
Heaps - loads; amass; quantity
Heed - to regard with care; take notice, attention or caution
Heifer - young cow
Hitherto - to this place; on the side nearest to the speaker
Hokum - nonsense; persuasive language used by dishonest politicians
Homophobic - has an extreme and irrational aversion to homosexuality
Hovel - a mean habitation; hut or cabin
Hue - a color tint
Hypochondria - a mental disorder characterized by extreme melancholy
Hypothalamus - a region of brain controlling body temperature, thirst, hunger, etc.
Humdinger - something that excels; one who makes a deep impression, esp a girl who exerts her charms

G

A, B, C, D, E, F, H, I, J, K


Gaffes - hooks for landing salmon
Gaiety - being gay; merriment
Gales - strong winds
Gallantry - polite and deferential attention to women; heroic courage
Galling - vexing; fretting; harassing; teasing
Gaudy - showy; vulgar
Gauge - estimate; measure
Gawking - awkward; ungainly
Genteel - graceful or elegant in manners or dress; polite; well-bred
Gentility - good breeding; refined
Genre - style of art; a particular kind; distinction
Ghastly - death-like; pale
Gibes - sneers or sarcastic expressions; cast reproaches
Giddy - having a confused whirling sensation in the head
Gist - main point
Glitterati - shiny things used to glitter the place
Gnarled - full of knots; distorted
Gnawed - erode; corrode
Gnome - a pithy saying
Goaded - urged to do something; stimulated
Grandiose - really or effectively grand or impressive
Gratuitous - freely bestowed
Grizzling - somewhat gray/dull
Grotesque - fanciful; bizarre
Groped - seek blindly with the hands, as in the dark
Grouchy - ill-tempered
Grousing - birding like partridges

WANTED: Estranghero

Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ang dami kong naisisiwalat sa isang complete stranger at ganun din sila sa akin. Isa ba itong golden rule na hindi pa naisusulat?

Hindi miminsan ang ganitong mga pangyayari. Hindi ko na mabilang sa sobrang pagiging sociable. Ngunit hindi ko pa napapahalagahan ang mga ganitong uri ng libreng heart-to-heart talks sa mga panahong yun. Sapagkat nung kabataan ko, wala pa akong ibang iniisip kundi; maglaro, eskwela, magbasa, lalake, kumain, magbasa ng nakasimangot, eskwela, maglandi, kumain. Joke lang. Mas marami dapat ang maglaro. Bwahahaha.

Maganda kausap ang mga estranghero. MARUNONG MAGTANONG. Hindi sa ipinagpapalit ko ang mga butihin kong kaibigan. Meron lang talagang mga bagay-bagay na nagkukulang. Kadalasan ay ang pagtatanong. Marahil sa kadahilanang; gusto rin nilang matanong, sila ang maunang magkwento, makipag-chismisan tungkol sa showbiz, mamintas sa mga nagdaraan, makipag-debate, o busy lang ang bibig sa pagngunguya ng kung anu-ano. Pero hindi lahat ng estranghero ay kaaya-aya. Maraming nakakairita, nakakabanas, mahangin, mabaho, at mabunganga.

Bakit nga ba minsan, ayaw mong makipag-usap sa isang kakilala? Sa isang matalik na kaibigan? O sa isang nagmamahal? Dahil ba sa masyado na silang maraming alam na hindi na kailangang magtanong? O kulang ang kaalaman nila sa iyo kaya di ka rin makabuwelta? Mainam na yung estranghero. Instant bestfriend. One time buddy. Madaling kausapin dahil isa lang ang inhibisyon mo, ang hindi sabihin ang iyong bio-data.

Meron din akong ideal estranghero. Siya yung hindi sumasabat ng sarili niyang buhay kapag nagna-narrate ka na ng iyong life story. Someone who asks the right questions. Yung hindi nakikipagkompetensya sa kung sino ang mas miserable sa inyo. (Kasi kadalasan, mas nakakapaglubag-loob yung tinatanggap niyong mas miserable nga kami.) Yung kahit buong hapon na kayong nag-uusap eh andun pa rin ang interes. Yung pwede mong iyakan. Yung nakakaintindi ng sign language. Yung walang unsolicited opinions. Yung hindi nakikipag-debate sa lahat na lang ng topic. (Nakakabanas talaga yun!) Yung may tamang sense of humor. At higit sa lahat, yung marunong sumeryoso ng kausap.

Kaso nga lang, nakakalungkot isiping kung kelan mo kailangan na kailangan ng estranghero, saka naman wala kang nakikita ni ga hibla ng buhok nila. Nakakalungkot din isiping hindi pa nag-eexist sa mundo ko si ideal stranger. Masyadong dumadami na kasi ang gustong magbida ngunit ayaw makinig. Dumarami ang gustong matanong ngunit ayaw magtanong. Maraming gustong makipag-usap, ngunit one way nga lang.

Ako lang ba talaga ang estrangherong hinahanap ko? Ikaw nga lang ba talaga ang makakatagpo ng estranghero sa sarili mo? I pity the plight of the human race then. 'Ika nga... "He got thinking about how ridiculous the whole concept of human communication was - what a monstrous, absurd overkill was necessary to achieve even just a little" -- Cujo by Stephen King

NOTE: Sa kawalan ng magagawa sa mansyon naming tadtad ng squatter, binasa ko ulit ang koleksyon kong Bob Ong books. Kung kaya, this is Bob Ong inspired. :)

F

A, B, C, D, E, F, H, I, J, K


Facade - front view
Fad - a passing fashion
Fags - fatigue/weariness; drudgery
Farce - a short comedy that is much exaggerated; ridiculous or empty parade
Fascist - an advocate of fascism which is a centralized government which exercises absolute control over industry
Fastidious - squeamish; precise on trifles
Fatuous - silly; illusory; weak in intellect
Fecund - fruitful; prolific
Felicity - a condition of supreme happiness, blissfulness, prosperity, appropriateness; a neat or well-chosen expression
Feline - pertaining to a cat; stealthy; treacherous
Felony - a crime punishable by death or imprisonment in a state prison
Ferments - excitements
Fervor - zeal; intensity of feeling; warmth
Festering - become mentally disquieted or irritated
Festoonery - an architectural ornament; garland suspended in the extremities and hanging in a curve
Fetishists - persons who believe in fetish things; superstitious people; charm; sorcery
Fettered - complicated
Fiasco - a complete or ludicrous failure of which high hopes were entertained
Fictitious - false; unreal
Fidgety - restless; impatient
Fiend - intensely malicious or wicked person
Flabbergasted - astonished
Flaccid - flabby or easily shaken; weak
Flak - anti-aircraft fire; criticism; abuse
Flummoxed - bewildered
Flustered - confused; agitated
Foal - the young of a horse
Fob - a small pocket especially for a watch
Fodder - food for horses, cattle, or sheep
Foisted - placed in wrongfully or surreptitiously
Foppishness - affectedness in dress and manners
Foreboding - prediction; an omen
Forlorn - abandoned; deserted; destitute; miserable; bereft
Formidable - exciting dread; fearful; powerful
Fortitude - patient endurance
Frail - fragile; brittle; weak
Fricassee - any meat that is stewed and fried with gravy/sauce
Frills - ruffles
Frisson - tension; shudder; thrill
Frivolous - trifling; petty; silly
Frock - dress; a monk's habit
Frolicsome - full of gaiety
Frugality - thrift
Fumigate - smoke; disinfect by the action of smoke or vapor
Furtive - expressive of stealth
Fuselage - framework of an airplane
Futility - being vain or useless
Furbelows - a plaited flounce in a petticoat
Flatulent - causing, caused by, or troubled with intestinal wind; inflated; pretentious
Frigging - used for emphasis especially to express anger, annoyance, contempt, or surprise

Fire victims the 2nd time around...

NOthing left but ashes. Ruins. Wreckage. They say lightning doesn't strike twice. I had been counting on that since we were fire victims the first time. I guess, that's a lie.

First fire. Monday. March 22, 2004. 11:00 pm. The night before my high school baccalaureate mass. I was graduating then that weekend. What a wonderful graduation gift you might say. Luckily I was able to save my graduation dress ensemble. But we lost A LOT. Imagine wall to wall houses of about 149 burned down. The worst of it was it was night time and the instant lights got cut off as wires got burned, with just 4 feet or less of road space between houses, how do you expect people to see their belongings? Nor even see where they're going as people were getting cramped? It was pandemonium at its best!

But then, yesterday at exactly 11:00am, August 9, 2010. Monday still. There was yet another fire alarm. A fire, alarmed when the sky was already blazing and filled with black smoke. (That's what you get with this type of government.) It was around more or less, the 7th fire alarm in our vicinity to date since I can remember. So you can say we were quite used to it by now. We have become more daring towards getting as much belongings as we can with lesser care for danger unless it's already our house oozing fire. 250 homeless. Another fire after just 6 years.

You know what we think about every time there's a fire alarm?

---It's... "NO, NOT AGAIN!"

And you know what concerns us during these times?

---It's... "HOW ON EARTH ARE WE GOING TO BE ABLE TO BUILD A NEW HOUSE FOR THE nth TIME???"

Yesterday I was rather calmer than how I was with the first fire. I was determined not to break down and cry. Not yet. Not when people need alert minds. I said, later, later when all people are already asleep. Then, I'm allowed to weep. It's hard. It really is. I feel like I'm in a really really long nightmare that I can't wake up from. I'm in denial. I just can't believe we are going back to square one. Suffering from something that's caused by other people! It took us 6 years to build another comfortable house before but it vanished after just a few hours. I think this time, It'll be more than that time frame. We are not wealthy. We don't have insurances and stuff. 3 out of 4 of my immediate family are homeless. And I don't even have a job to help! The only person who helped us before and will always will is my sister. And she is not rich either. We have burdened her for so long and we might be nearing the final straw. I keep on thinking that we might accidentally kill her with problems. GOD forbid!

Then people keep saying, "We understand what you're feeling...", "This too shall pass...", "There's a reason for everything..." yada yada yada. I say, no you don't understand! And you never will! Unless you experience the same apart from all the problems you have already been facing! Don't ever give me the bullshit of saying that there's always a rainbow after the rain. Because it has always looked rather gray to me for 23 years now.

Somebody once said, "You should trust life more." Huh! I was never the type of person who goes negative. Somebody had actually told me how I was able to maintain optimism. I was never the type to give up on life. I can even boast that I can cope fairly well. But this time... this time, I feel like I'm seriously cracking up. I can't even bear to look at the neighboring houses a few feet from ours. UNSCATHED. NOT that I want theirs burned too. NO NO. But it's more of, why ours were. Were we so despicable and indecent to be cleaned out? How could life be sooo unfair? How could we be the last houses burned? Why is it not possible to move it a little farther back? Is everything going to be too much to ask???

Don't ever suggest to build our house somewhere else at this time. Cause that is seriously distressing. Especially financially. Trust me, if you have a better alternative, we are more than welcome to hear it. As for now, we are stuck in this hell-hole until we are given enough time to get out. This is crazy.

The first fire was actually an adventure to me. One that I accepted right away with just a little resentment about the things I had lost. It seemed then as a new beginning. I told you I was rather optimistic. Well, I was not the one burdened financially. The adults I suppose did not feel the same. But the second time? The second time around, is MADNESS! An ABSURDITY! I am seething with rage. I don't know when I can calm down. But I surely will. Whether of my own accord or against my will. Let's hope it's not the latter.

THANK YOU for everyone who offered to help. But I don't think there's anything more you can do for my family now. We need shelter. And unless you have a portable house handy, I'm not going to bother you more with my misfortunes. Or, maybe, you can drop off canned goods I suppose. :D

NOTE: I'm sorry for writing it this long. But this is the only way I can vent it out. Blame it on my belief in the saying... Paper is more patient than men. :D

E

A, B, C, D, E, F, H, I, J, K


Eaglets - a young eagle
Edifice - a building; large structure
Eerie - lonely; weird; gloomy; mysterious
Effluvium - an invisible subtle emanation/flowing out or issue
Effrontery - presumption
Elated - marked by high spirits, to will with joy or pride
Eloped - escape privately; run away with a lover or paramour
Eloquent - fluent and elegant oratory
Eluded - escaped
Emaciated - to lose flesh gradually; to make thin
Emancipation - liberation; freedom
Embossed - raised in relief from the surface
Emir - a prince or chieftain
Encore - repeat performance
Engorged - swelled by blood, water or another fluid; eat to excess
Engulf - to swallow up
Enigma - a riddle
Enigmatic - obscure or puzzling
Enmity - animosity; hatred; hostility; ill-will
Enthrall - enslave
Entreating - importune or besiege; beseech
Envisage - to face or confront; meet openly; bring fully into view
Epiphany - revelations
Epistle - a letter
Epithets - an adjective denoting quality either good or bad
Erudition - knowledge obtained by the study of books; learning
Esoteric - secret; confidential
Espionage - spying to detect wrongdoing
Ethereal - heavenly
Eunuch - a castrated, weakened, deprived of vigor person
Euphemism - the substitution of a delicate or pleasing expression in place of that which is offensive or indelicate
Evanescent - vanishing; disappearing gradually from sight
Exchequer - a treasury
Excision - amputation
Excrement - body waste
Exonerated - justified
Expendable - can be spent
Expiate - to make atone or amends for
Expunged - to blot out; erase; destroy; obliterate
Expedient - device; that which aids as a means to an end
Extensive - wide
Exuberant - copious; abundant
Execrable - extremely bad or unpleasant
Egregious - extraordinary in a bad sense; gross
Enthused - rendered enthusiasm; manifested enthusiasm
Eponymous - ancestor-like or founder-like
Epoch - a point of time from which succeeding years are reckoned; era; date
Eschewed - avoided; chunned

D

A, B, C, D, E, F, H, I, J, K


Dainty - refined as regards taste; elegant; fastidious
Daub - flatter grossly; a rudely executed painting; paint coarsely or unskillfully
Daunted - intimidated; disheartened
Dawdle - to waste time in a trifling manner; loiter or linger
De trop - out of place; not wanted; too much said of a person whose presence is not desired
Debacle - a stampede; a dispersion
Debauch - to corrupt in morals or principles; seduce; pollute
Decadent - deteriorating
Decipher - solve; unravel; uncover
Decorously - fit; properly
Decrepitude - a physical infirmity caused by old age
Defray - to discharge, i.e, expenses; pay; settle
Deftly - clever; handy
Defunct - dead; extinct; the dead
Degeneracy - the state of being degenerated; degraded
Delineated - portrayed
Delinquent - neglected; offending by neglect
Delousing - rid of lice
Deluge - a sudden and resistless calamity; usually associated with water
Demise - death; the transfer through bequest
Demur - to hesitate; raise objections
Depraved - to make bad
Deranged - to throw into confusion; disturb the normal functions; displace
Derision - ridicule; scorn; contempt
Derringer - a pocket pistol with a short barrel of very large caliber
Despicable - contemptible; unworthy
Despondent - cast down; dejected; disheartened
Desultory - passing from one thing to another; cursory/hasty; erratic/eccentric
Deterred - discouraged; disheartened
Destitute - forsaken; poor; penniless
Detractors - takes away the reputation
Detriment - causes damage; that which injures; reduces in value
Dexterity - cleverness
Deviations - shifting; turning aside from a certain course
Devour - to swallow greedily; consume or destroy rapidly
Diadem - a crown; tiara
Diaspora - the dispersion of the Jews; the dispersed Jews
Digress - wander; to deviate
Dilatory - tending to cause delay; slow; inactive
Din - continued and violent noise
Diplomat - skilled in diplomacy
Dire - dreadful; mournful
Dirge - a funeral hymn; a song expressive of grief
Discord - disagreement
Disdain - deem unsuitable; to think unworthy
Disgorge - to force out of the mouth with violence; surrender what has been unlawfully obtained
Dismal - gloomy depressing; dark; horrid; sorrowful
Disparage - belittle; treat with contempt; criticize unjustly
Dispel - to drive away; scatter; disperse
Disquisition - a systematic investigation or discussion; an elaborate essay
Dissipate - to scatter completely; squander or be wasteful
Docile - easy to teach; easily managed
Dogma - an established principle or doctrine
Domicile - a permanent or fixed residence
Dope - stupid
Doss - the back; a bed or bunk in a dosshouse; to sleep in a dosshouse
Dour -  relentlessly severe, stern, or gloomy in manner and appearance
Drab - a tint of brown or yellowish-gray color
Dregs - worthless matter
Droll - comical; funny
Drool - to drip saliva like a baby; to talk nonsense
Drudgery - salvery
Dubious - doubtful
Dunce - a dull, ignorant person
Dungarees - trouser; worn by poor
Duped - cheated;  one who is easily tricked; a credulous, easily imposed upon person
Dyspeptic - a person having dyspepsia

C

A, B, C, D, E, F, H, I, J, K


Cacophony - dissonance; harshness in the sound of words and phrases
Cajole - deceive by flattery
Calibration - standardization
Calumny - a false accusation; a slander
Canary - light wine; a pale or bright yellow color
Candid - free from bias; fair; frank; blunt
Candor - openness; frankness
Cantankerous - ill-tempered; contentious or quarrelsome
Canter - an easy gallop
Capacious - roomy; spacious
Capitulated - surrendered to an enemy on conditions agreed upon
Caput - the head
Carcass - a corpse; the decaying remains of a bulky thing
Carnage - slaughter; massacre
Carnal - sensual; impure
Cashmere - a soft woolen fabric for shawls
Catalyst - person or thing that precipitates change
Catapult - fling forcibly
Catatonic - schizophrenic; state of immobility and stupor
Catty - spiteful
Caviar - the roes of certain large fish, salted and dried
Celery - a plant cultivated for a salad; vegetable
Cellulite - lumpy fat, esp. on women's hips and thighs
Cerebrals - of or pertaining to the brain
Chai Tian - chinese word for good bye
Chalet - cottage
Chamois - a rag
Charcoaled steaks - barbecued steaks
Chivalry - the medieval system of knighthood; qualifications of a knight as bravery, nobleness, etc.
Churned - agitated by violent motion
Cinch - a sure grip or hold; a sure thing
Citadel - a fortress; a castle
Clack - a sudden, sharp sound

Clad - clothed

Cladding - protective covering or coating

Clandestine - secret; private
Clemency - compassion; remission; leniency
Clever - wise; cunning; ingenious; mentally quick
Cliche - a common expression or idea; repetition of events; over-recurrence
Coax - to wheedle/ entice with flattering words; cajole; deceive by flattery
Codicil - an appendix to a will
Cognizance - judicial knowledge or notice; perception
Cohort - (co-company) any band of individuals
Co-eval - of the same age; contemporary
Coherent - sticking together; consistent; logical
Compere - (French) godfather; (British) master of ceremonies
Comport - to agree; to behave
Concede - admit
Concession - the act of conceding or admitting
Concierge - in France, a door-keeper
Condole - to lament; to express sympathy for another
Conduit - a canal or pine for the conveyance of water
Confab - to chat
Confer - to give or bestow
Confrere - an associate
Confunded - confused; bewildered; damned; a mild oath
Congenital - produced at birth
Conniving - collusing; cooperating in a crime or fault passively; be in secret complicity; slander
Conspicuous - visible; manifest; distinguished
Consternation - excessive terror, wonder or surprise; perturbation
Contemporary - existing or occurring at the same time; one living at the same time as another
Contention - debate
Contort - to twist in a violent manner; deform
Contrived - devised; planned
Convey - to carry or transport; transmit; impart; communicate
Copious - abundant; diffusive
Coquet - to flirt
Coquetry - flirtation
Coquette - a vain woman; a flirt
Cordial - hearty; sincere
Cornice - the highest projection or border on a wall or column
Coronary - halo; any crown-like appendage/something attached as adjunct
Countenance - appearance; support; favor; the whole form of the face
Craggy - a steep, rugged rock
Cranial - pertaining to the skull
Creche - a public nursery

Cretin -a person afflicted with cretinism or a condition occurring in children, caused by a deficiency in thyroid secretion, and characterized y a stunted and malformed body and arrested mental development

Crud - disgusting substance; dirty; nonsense

Culpable - blameworthy
Cupidity - covetousness
Curb - restrain
Curlews - a migratory bird
Curt - abrupt; short
Curtailed - cut short; reduce
Cussed - cursed
Cusp - a sharp rigid point

B

A, B, C, D, E, F, H, I, J, K


Baffled - eluded; defeated; frustrated
Balk - a heavy piece of timber; disappointment
Balmy - having the qualities of balm; soft; fragrant; refreshing
Beatification - the act of blessing or the state of being blessed
Beatitudes - felicity of the highest kind
Beckon - summon or signal by signs
Bedlams - any scene of uproar or confusion; madhouse for lunatics
Befell - happened; or occurred to; passed
Behest - a command; precept or authoritative command
Behooves - to be met; necessary; or fit for
Bemoan - to lament; pity; symphatize with; bewail
Bemused - bewildered; puzzled
Benched - is not being asked to play in a game; left on the bench
Berserk - wild; crazed; frenzied
Beseeched - beg eagerly for
Besieged - to press with requests or importune
Bickering - arguing; petty quarreling
Bigotry - fanaticism; blind and obstinate attachment to any particular creed, party, or opinion
Billowing - rising or rolling in large waves or surges
Bivouac - open air encampment; without tents
Blandishments - winning expressions or actions; artful caresses
Blandly - mild; soft; gentle; soothing
Boisterous - noisy; turbulent; violent
Bosom - the breast; intimate; worn on the bosom
Boughs - arm or branch of a tree
Bravado - arrogant menace; defiance
Brazen - impenetrable; impudent/rudeness/forward/; shameless
Brevity - shortness; concise
Brumous - foggy; misty
Bustle - tumult; noisy activity

A

A, B, C, D, E, F, H, I, J, K


Abattoir - a public slaughter house
Abashed - to put to confusion; confound or make a shame
Abdication - the act of relinquishment or resignation
Abeyance - held or kept back; a state of suspension
Abhorrence - detestation; extreme hatred
Abject - worthless; in a degraded condition
Ablutions - cleansing of body by water; moral purification
Abomination -shame
Abridgment - the state of being cut short/ curtailed
Acceded - came or attained to; agree or yield
Accolade - an entrance in the conferring of knighthood; a brace in music joining 2 or more stanza
Accosted - drawn near
Accoutrement - equipage; military dress or equipments
Acquiescence - the act of submitting; silent assent; neglect to take legal proceedings
Acrimony - sharpness of temper; bitterness of expression
Adamant - hard; the diamond (as hardness)
Adhere - to stick fast, become firmly attached to
Adrift - floating at random
Admonish - to reprove gently; warn; instruct
Adroit - dexterous/clever
Adulation - flattering extravagantly
Adversary - an opponent
Adversity - opposing to; contrary; reverse of prosperity; misery
Affronted - confronted; opposed; disrespected
Aghast - shocked; struck with terror
Albeit - although; even though; notwithstanding
Alecky - a stupid person
Alms - charity
Altruism - principle of sacrificing one's self in the interest of others
Amassed - accumulated; gathered
Ambiguity - equivocalness; vagueness; double signification
Ambivalent - a mixture of love and hatred for the same person at the same time
Amble - to move with a peculiar pace
Amoral - beyond morality; neither moral nor immoral
Amorous - fond of the opposite sex, loving
Ample - full; large; abundant
Androgynous - hermaphroditic
Angst - a German word for agony
Animosity - hostility; hatred; enmity
Annals - chronicles
Annihilation - destruction; the act of reducing to nothing or wiping out of existence
Antiquity - ancientness; a relic
Appalled - dismay; terrify; frightened
Apprehensions - the act of seizure, conceiving or laying hold of
Aptitude - capacity for anything; fitness; tendency
Arbitrary - capricious
Arcane - mysterious; secret
Arch - structure with an arc
Archaic - old-fashioned; antiquated
Ardent - burning; fiery; warm; passionate
Arduous - steep; hard to climb
Array - order; the grouping or arrangement
Arson - intentional burning
Assiduously - devotedly attentive; perseveringly diligent
Askew - out of position or arrangement
Astute - shrewd; cunning
Atrocity - enormous wickedness; abominable cruelty
Atrophy - a wasting of the body arising from lack of nourishment; degeneration
Audibly - that can be heard
Augment - to increase in size; enlarge
Augurs - a prophet; one who predicts events through natural signs or omens
Auspicious - promising; fortunate
Austere - sour; harsh; rough to the taste; severy; rigid in character
Authoritarianism - strict obedience to authority
Avalanche - anything that overwhelms by suddenness or irresistible force
Avaricious - impelled by avarice or greediness; greedy of gain; grasping
Awning - a cloth stretched upon a frame and used as a shield from the sun or wind
Awry - turned or twisted; erroneous
Azure - a light blue color

10 truths, 1 Lie

I....

1. ...don't eat pineapple.
2. ...watch any movie with Nicholas Cage, Jim Carrey, Robin Williams, Adam Sandler, Jackie Chan, Eddie Murphy, and Dakota Fanning in it.
3. ...have an MVP certificate.
4. ...brainstorm with myself a lot. Not to mention, talking.
5. ...have never been kissed.
6. ...sleep with a paper bag handy.
7. ...have a recorded audio of the rain. My lullaby. Apart from the real rain of course. Or the hum of the AC. Or the sound of broken T.V. signal. Or... hahaha. Never mind.
8. ...am drug dependent.
9. ...scream for my life when I'm faced with a cockroach. You can't even make me do that with horror movies.
10. ...am right-handed.
11. ...am athletic.

So... which is which? :D

Hope your truth bucket is heavier than your lies. :D

My Lexicon

Originally, this was on a scrapbook, I decided to write it in a notebook so I can bring it to school. A bit dusty now. Sorry about that. It used to be really purple. I know of someone who really likes purple. Well, this are the words I stumbled upon in my reading. I used to write in the back of my notebooks or whatever slip of paper I could find at the moment and transfer it to this one. I'm dead serious when I am you see. :D

This blog was an idea triggered by my HP scrapbook blog. Thus by doing this, all three of my scrapbooked ideas are now blogged. Let me reiterate; 1st scrapbook = quoted phrases, 2nd scrapbook = Harry Potter memorabilia, 3rd scrapbook = vocabulary words.

I found out as I reread my Harry Potter books that most of my words came from J.K. Rowling. By then, I was still in Highschool and College, so the zest for learning as much words as I can amass was overpowering that when I used to write essays, most people could not decipher what I was trying to purport. <<<(Just like this one. Hahaha.) But then I learned to write for the masses. They said, you should write to express, not to impress. Not that I wanted to impress. Or maybe, just a little. :D And by doing so, I often forget the words I used to be able to put in, in a jiffy. I said to myself, that's okay, as I'm not planning to become a novelist anyway. I don't need as much. Though it proves really handy when you read novels and books. Hehe.

I think this one is the utmost manifestation of my OCness. Don't ever think for a moment that it didn't cross my mind to have myself checked by a shrink, because it does, a lot of times. Now you see, again, if you're in this part of the world and to other parts maybe, that is seriously appalling, not to mention imprudent. Shrinks are for the wealthy. As for us, we try to cope, make ourselves less insane. But that's another story. Wouldn't want to spoil the fun off columnists now, would we?

As you can see, it says My Lexicon in the center and that I wrote it all when I was in my fourth year in college (2007) below. I stopped scrapbooking after I got my electronic dictionary, around my fifth year (2008).

This is the inside. Made it look like a steno notepad. I always have a thing for steno notebooks. I don't know why. Anyway, see the protruding slips of paper in the edges? It's the lettering actually. Like the one you see in huge dictionaries. I was keen to details back then. Well, I still am. :))

Let me augment it a bit. So you can see more clearly the details I was talking about. This lexicon is A-Z too, mind you. And I wrote it pretty neatly. Made me realize now, I had the time of my life then. :D

Now to wrap it all up, I might be doing blogs about this, A-Z. I'm seriously flooding my blogspot don't I? I don't really care. As long as it's not illegal. :))

*No infringement intended.*

Harry Potter Scrapbook

This is the first page of my scrapbook. Told you there's not much art stuff on there. Hahahaha. It's all just plain text. Trust me. :) I copied this letter format of Harry Potter from the first book. That's why it's red and yellow. I never liked Red.

Okay, now I will give you a tour around my scrapbook, will make some captions here and there. But I'll make a blog for every category. The pictures are not going to suffice that's why. (Take note, I'm only basing it on books alone and the movies. I think I don't trust Harry Potter wiki's and the sort. No offense. I'm still entitled to my opinion right? Except imdb of course, I suppose I need the cast names from there. What? You can't expect me to wait for the credits to know them all right??? By the way, I'm seriously detailed that it's annoying sometimes but, who cares? This is not a richly-woven blog though. This is not Wikipedia for crying  out loud! I'm no techy so don't expect too much. And I already know I don't have good handwriting so spare me the criticisms. Haha.)

Now this is the cast of characters of Harry Potter. I wrote everyone there, every character that showed up in the book. I'll make a table on who's who in the book, in the movie, and in real life. You'll see. :D

Made a list for the Hogwarts' staff too. Seems like Defense against the Dark Arts subject had been quite busy. :)

It had been quite hard to get who's on the quidditch team for Ravenclaw and Hupplepuff. Sometimes that could be seriously frustrating when you need it. :D

Thought some color could liven it up. But nah. :D

Well, this is to delineate the schools, places, founders, headmasters, and school ghosts mentioned.

Ministry of Magic and Order of the Phoenix peepz.

Death Eaters and Quidditch World Cup show-ups.

The foursome, Pets, and Dumbledore's Army party-poopers.

And last but not the least, you're seriously gonna love this. The craziest of them all. Ta da! My Harry Potter show-up table! *applause*

Hahahahaha. Told you it was crazy. 

By the way highway, you might have noticed that this is outdated. I know right? But you see, I stopped scrapbooking this around 1-2 years ago. I got busy with my first job and all. Now, since I'm unemployed as of the moment, I might as well do something to kill time as I wait for a "job call". You know what I mean.

Harry Potter

I made a scrapbook for Harry Potter. That's lame I know. (Well, that goes with all my other lists anyway.) Wait 'til you see the pictures. It's a lot crazier. I'm not saying there's a lot of decent art stuff going on there. Seriously, it's not even a scrapbook. It's a friggin' drawing book! A Peter Pan drawing book at that! Hahaha. But I was trying to be detailed with the facts. And that's where it all got crazy. :)

Okay. I'll go over some pics I have of it. And try to write it all down here. 

See? I'ts a Peter Pan drawing book for pete's sake! Hahahaha. Anyway. Just wanted to prove myself. Know what, this came with 2 other drawing books. One was for my quoted phrases. I used to write it down. I got tired. I blogged it instead. You'll see it in one of my blog pages up there. The other one was for my vocabulary words. I used to write them down too. I even made a notebook that looked like a dictionary. But I got tired of it too. (specially when I got my electronic dictionary) Come to think of it, I might make a new page for that. :D

Okay, so much for the dilly dally. I started my "scrapbooking" back in 4th yr college (2007). But I liked Harry Potter ever since it came out during my 1st yr in high school (2000). I wasn't even able to read the first two books but I loved the first movie nonetheless.  Was able to read the books later on, and that's before the movie comes out. You see, back then, books were hard to find. Especially if you're outside U.S. of A. :D

I think I read the books around 4-5 times now. And I watched the movie around 7-10 times too. I just can't seem to get tired of the characters and the actors. Most especially, their accent! Ohhh... how I wished then I was born British. Sad to say, that's not how it works right? :D 

But, now the end is near for Harry Potter series. I felt like I lost a loved one when Sirius died. I felt like I lost a grandfather when Dumbledore died. I felt like I lost a friend when Fred died. And I felt like I died when I finished the 7th book! I consoled myself thinking there is still 2 movies to look forward to. But after then? What's gonna be left of my beloved Harry Potter? I shudder to think about that but I'll cross the bridge when I get there. :)

I've always tried to look for HP freebies or souvenirs like wands, school robes, quills, posters, yada yada yada. But, all were seriously lame if you're on this side of the planet. So I vowed to buy original books and movies instead. I once had 3 posters for HP3 sent by my big sis from NY, but they were torn by my ever-so-cute nephews and neices while they jump up and down my bed everytime they have the chance. Well, If i get to roam abroad, those will be at the top of my list. Apart from clothes though. I love clothes. :)