To know me, you have to read me. Otherwise, I'm just like everybody else. Without identity. Choose well.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Surgery

I was floating. I could see myself being steered away by two white robed strangers on that elongated wheelchair. Seemingly unaware. Then I was lying again. I guess I was just overly imagining it. Especially when you're just lying there. Dazed. Seeing only the hospital lights pass through like some kind of scene from a movie. And I couldn't help myself from smiling like some crazed lunatic. Just earlier I was strutting along like some corporate girl on the catwalk. Busily chitchatting with a colleague while inside a jeepney. Talking about the exact, same, condition I am now in. How life bites sometimes. One time you talk about possible, rather far-fetched, circumstances and the next thing you know, you are in it.

I got home feeling sick. I was having severe abdominal cramps. I had them before and I have always thought it was only PMS. But this time, I just finished my monthly visit a week ago. So it couldn't be PMS still. It was piercing pain that I couldn't even get up. The pain was too much that I even puked. I was rushed to the emergency room. I went on various tests. Laboratory tests for CBC, urinalysis, stomach and abdomen ultrasound, trans-rectal and etc. I got there in the morning and I was only able to finally settle for a private room almost by dinner. Whew. What an efficient E.R?! By the end of the day I was informed I will have to undergo endometriotic surgery. What a shock! I got scared out of my wits! I just knew I had ovarian cysts. Multiple at that. But the largest one is too big (as big as a toilet paper roll) that it requires removal of the right ovary. I was asked why I haven't noticed the heaviness before. I'm not so sure myself. And at that moment, I couldn't even think clearly.

Scared? I was beyond scared. It was the next level after that. Which feels worse. As you are not openly voicing out your woes, cries, and unfounded paranoia. Like when you're at the brink of jumping off a fatal cliff. Saying, IT'S NOW OR NEVER. Even with the proper, clean, and sturdy set of equipment. Even with the best paramedics on standby. You still have to do the dive. (Minus the battle-cry of course) No shortcuts. And knowing anything can always go wrong. Even with the most calculated dive. And I think of myself. My sickly, weak self. With a mitral valve prolapse self. Will I really be sleeping it off? Will I really not feel unbearable pain? Will it really be successful? Filled by a drum of anxieties. Only and best thing to do is pray. And trust that everything will be all right. Because if not, I won't be able to do it with a calm demeanor. I would be in hysterics. I'd go berserk! Now I wouldn't want cardiovascular complication on top of it right? :)

As I was waiting to be shepherded to the world of the unknown, I saw a kid in his blue jammies being reeled in. (I wondered why he was not wearing the hospital gown or could be there's no size for him) He was around 8 yrs old. Not laughing. But not crying either. He was sort of feeling the room. With his parents fidgeting behind. My sister and parents were outside then. I thought no one other than the ER personnel is allowed in that part. Apparently, it still is. Beyond there is restricted. I realized, well, if that kid is strong enough for this, (Though I am not sure he actually knows what will happen to him) I should have a good chance of surviving right? It seems unethical but yes, the thought made me feel better. As the saying goes, a miserable being must find another miserable being, then he's happy. Thinking, we're all in this together. :D

Evidently, I didn't wake up in my hospital room. I woke up in the middle of the operation. I remember I was saying IT HURTS in a groggy kind of way. Hearing the sound of scraping intestines. Then somebody gave me a shot. Had a bit of groggy conversations until the next thing I know, I was out of the operating room after 3 hours, drifting in and out of sleep. Waking up with the pain saying IT HURTS in a groggy kind of way again. Until finally I was in my hospital room and slept for the next 5 hours. 

The rest is the recovery part. I got tons of visitors and well-wishers. Good-old-friends with their smiles and jokes. Really does help. Reminds you of the world you left behind for a while. I'm now in my third week of post-op. Feeling good? I suppose. But I know I will feel a whole lot better in the next few weeks. I'm still not without my usual unfounded paranoia and anxieties. Still battling day to day struggles. There are assurances of a new shot at life. However, still remains to be seen. :)




Sunday, October 2, 2011

To be or not to be

crossroads X
Immobilized. Indecisive. Solicitous. I have never been this overwrought since the last time I had to make a decision to change lifestyles. It wasn't hard then. I had grand plans. Life was a painting of adventure. Now that I have experienced it, I concede it's true, that our choices show what we truly are. Far more than our abilities.

I am in my wildest crossroads yet. Roads at that as their are too many choices. Not the regular ones but the life-changing, career-pathing, and self-actualization options. For the past days I have thought nothing but what to decide. The sense of urgency is what's immobilizing me. Or the opportunity will pass me like catching a droplet of water in a vast expanse of dry land. Sigh. I wish life can be calculated like a mathematical equation. Or a multiple choice exam. And solutions are derived from the hypothesis of an experiment. But that's not how it works. To the most essential parts.

Decision making has never been my strength. Not that I keep failing at my choices. More of, the process never grew on me despite the numerous resolution issues I have to tackle with customers everyday. Right now I have 5 major paths to choose from. Only one of which will be the easiest to take and accept. Option number 1. Option 2 will not be easy as it involves moving up but a very good recourse if I'd like to stay in my comfort zone. And herein lies my anxiety if I can stand up and brace it. As per my mentor, if you do this now, there's no turning back. This will be the YOU in your future. Which is something you have to nurture, protect, and exceed from. A fact that cripples me. You see, going for it takes more than just guts, experience, and skill. You have to have passion for it. You have to understand it fully to be IT. The question is, do I?

Option 3 is what I prefer due to personal issues but is the riskiest to boot. As what my colleague said, "You'll be like a butterfly lost in a wild forest there." Nyahahaha. I never thought she'd know me to that extent. Given our differences. Anyway, yes, ditto on that. But I really want to try a new place. Live in a new environment. Try to survive in a big city. I'm living in a city too but my city is like Bohol's man-made forest while there is like the Amazon's rainforests. Wild and unforgiving. Not for the weak-hearted. Despite how many times I reiterate the pro's and con's in my mind, my overpowering need to go independent just bites at me every chance it gets. FREEDOM is madness. Mind candy for fools. Tsk2. Option 4 though if realized, will render option 3's anxieties, meaningless. As it will prove immaterial. Also, it will make option 2's crippling effect lesser. Because it's something I have worked with for the past year. It wouldn't be too hard now would it? :D That is if it's going to be realized. Really.

Option 5 is by far the worst I have come in contact with, which is just recently. A whole lot different from the rest. It's a complete turn-about like a 360-degree-turn. Wait, that doesn't make sense. It will bring me to the same spot. Well then, a 180-degree turn would do. Hehe. Going back, I just thought I had trashed all my aspirations of getting my dream job. But here it is, slapping me in the face for  my hypocrisy. So it never died then. And I guess it never will. But OH MY, it gave me the hardest dilemma since I started this craze last July.   What to do? What to do?? When will I be able to decide? Until when? When all this is gone? I need divine intervention. But how? I've been out of touch for more than a year now. Sad. :|

I don't know how to go about all of this. I don't know if I'll make the right decision. I don't know if I'll have my chance at that even. But I know for sure, I have to decide, A.S.A.P.... T_T





Monday, September 26, 2011

FB Statuses 2010



"You cant give what you never had." -- lame excuse. And I beg to disagree. Hehe. January 3 at 7:33pm.

For the first time in a loooong time, my mind was blank on a jeepney journey last night. Wait, erratum: taxi journey. :) January 6 at 9:02am.

Welcome back LIFESAVER. :) January 8 at 12:11pm.

[tagged people here] chose to sleep at my place so we can go out later at dawn. But, apparently, they chose to sleep all the way til morning too. Waaaaa... ang galing galing. January 10 at 2:16am.


........................ and so I'm in limbo again. I don't know if this time, I should be thankful. :| January 11 at 9:58am.

is dreading... January 12 at 11:06am.

HIM: "I like ur scent." HER: "Is it enuf to keep you close?" :D January 14 at 10:50am.

Do I scare you away? :( January 16 at 3:39pm.

29 hours awake AGAIN. And I'm not sleepy. Bampira na nga ba tlga ako? :D This sinulog was rather FUN. BOTH morning and nyt time. VIVA PIT SENYOR! January 18 at 6:21am.


Spontaneous again. F u can teach me discipline, den m a willing ninja. Pgka jud aning Sherlock Holmes! Salamat aiv! *bratty smile* January 19 at 10:55am.

In exactly 1 year of taking calls, first time ever, considering the other swearing customer, that I had CRIED DURING A CALL. I never felt THAT humiliated in my entire call center duration. It was not even about what the call was, or what the customer was saying (coz he never even gave one swear word) but how the call was handled. TMI is dangerous. So I stop here. *fuming like mad* January 20 at 9:29am.

You guys are the reason why I'm still here. But I'm afraid... January 22 at 10:14am.

Pde mokuyog ug uli nimo? :) January 23 at 10:02am.

Found the push I've been waiting for. Sabi ko na nga ba. Don't worry dear, you're better off. :) January 25 at 2:33am.

"If a man really wants to go out with you, he WILL make it happen." - He's just not that into you. (See... I was right. :D) January 26 at 10:32am.


Mas matimbang ka pa rin sa puso ko. Bat ganun? :( January 29 at 11:29am.

Dating Clew. Annie, mahalon lageh ni si Clew? 3D jud. Hehe. Peace fren! Wil b off 2 HADSAN l8r wid some secret pipz. SECRET! Yeng, sunod2 q sa imong line ha? :D January 30 at 7:23pm.

Manong MIKE ARCEO, God bless people like you! Thank you very much. You had been a stranger yet you were a savior. And now, off to another adventure. Movie marathon at lapulapu! Yeng, remind me unya where Tamiya is. Be the savior. :D January 31 at 5:19pm.

We've talked at last. I was relieved you took it okay. I guess I made you ready for it more than I thought. Since everything's all set, let's SAVE UP for the upcoming drought. :D Febuary 1 at 10:17am.

"Enough. Enough now." -Love Actually February 8 at 5:16am.

What girl in her right mind would want to date a guy who can't even remmbr her day-off??? February 11 at 1:37pm.

Seriously [tagged person here], this is a lot to take in, in one day. OMG. OMG. All this time??? Waaaaaa.... By golly, tomorrow really IS Valentine's day. February 13 at 2:27pm.

Happy Valentine's Day to me. :| AND Happy Birthday to my ate Lovella Willet! Though ugma pa ang 14 sa n.u. :) February 14 at 1:58pm.

You're an obssession I'm willing to let go. For her sake. Goodbye my "almost lover". February 15 at 12:40pm.

♫♪♪♫ All my bags are packed now... I'm ready to go... ♫♪♪♫ February 19 at 9:41am.

is now in Tacloban. For real? We are really doing this guys. :)) [tagged people here], let's make the most out of this. [tagged person here], you'll be in our pictures. PROMISE. :D February 20 at 5:16pm.


I'll leave my heart in tacloban... :( February 23 at 8:20am.

Where are you better half? :( February 28 at 2:58am.


I prefer you. :) March 5 at 9:43am.

To quote, "If our friendship was platonic, then I'm gay." :)) March 7 at 11:12am.

is tired of listening to crap. Will be invisible for awhile. 'Cept for the solids. I need you. :( March 11 at 8:36am.

Maganda pala ang afternoon ng I.T. Park. I've seen it for the first time. 'Twas ethereal. :) March 14 at 7:08pm.

Yes, I do not believe in long-distance relationships. But a long distance friendship is my way of checking who sticks and who doesn't. :) Last day of taking calls now. Wish me success for my next adventure! :) March 16 at 9:32am.


I guess, all men are the same. Weak. :D March 19 at 12:05pm.

You are my happy thought. A source for my daydreams. But I guess I have to stop it now. I said I was over you, but I never was. I just stopped waiting. Now, In your absence. I might be able to move on. Finally. :) March 21 at 9:49am.

Sometimes i wish I can be so mean as to say, "I really don't care. Seriously." March 23 at 3:25pm.

FYI, I don't believe you anymore. I hate you. I really do. To quote: "You're fraternizing with the enemy!" March 23 at 5:52pm.

While I was waltzing with him, I wished it was you. :) March 25 at 12:35pm.

On board Ocean Jet bound for Bohol. Will arrive at Tagbilaran in 2 hours with [tagged people here]. To the land of the unknown!!! Cheers. :) March 27 at 9:21am.


On board Ocean Jet bound for Cebu. Will arrive at Pier 1 in 30mins. Our trip was a taste of both worlds. Really! Now for a week of solemnity. Hehe. :D March 29 at 1:08pm.

I do not miss you anymore. Whew! That was fast. If I continue not seeing you, then I'd be good to go. :) March 30 at 9:56am.

Will be doing bisita iglesia with [tagged person here]. Balik loob? :D April 1 at 11:39am.

The sweetest thing he said was "bogoshipo". After all the years we've known each other. How sweet. :D April 3 at 9:07pm.

Dated [tagged person here]. How to Train your Dragon is kewl katio! :D Actually we just shopped the entire time don't you think? Naliligaw pa rin pala ako sa SM. :)) April 6 at 10:21pm.

Lunched out with wave 42 again! Weeee... See told you. We can manage. :D Our thankies for [tagged person here] for the treat and also for installing Windows 7 Ultimate sa amo desktop. Weeeee... I'm totally gonna enjoy the Snap feature. You know, for my streaming of 2 movies simultaneously. :)) April 7 at 5:00pm.

I'm flattered by the offer. But, marriage is not yet on my mind. :) But I'd really like to learn Japanese though. Ow well, I can learn it on my own. :)) April 8 at 8:37pm.

Sa tanang nag bday... I wish you all a good year. Belated sa uban. Namely: [tagged people here]. Hapi Birtdi sa nag bday karon. Namely: [tagged people here]. Asa ang pakal??? April 12 at 1:49pm.

How could you trust someone who can change emotions in a jiffy? It's like your at his mercy for another whim on the next girl to come along. Their oaths are poison to a gullible mind. Sorry but to me now, they're just empty words. :D Aril 12 at 7:20pm.

The sweetest thing he did was turn my monitor off out of the blue just to tease me, and throwing me a piece of paper because I, was teasing him! :)) Gawd I miss that. :D April 14 at 9:11pm.

You keep on forgetting your promises. Over and over again. Di ko alam pano ko natotolerate. Hahai. Kung di nga lang kita... ahm... kaibigan. :) April 17 at 10:14pm.

When you talk I listen. But when its my turn, you look away, or space out, or you cut me off mid-sentence. Why is that always the case? Tsk2. Ang mga tao talaga. Tama si Anne Frank. Paper is indeed more patient than men. :D April 19 at 5:47pm.

And now I have done my part. I'll leave you off with this. :D C yah when I c yah guyz. I'll go private from now on. *waving away* :) April 20 at 8:55pm.


Ok. I don't feel THAT antisocial now. Last post, April 20. Exactly a month! Wow. I realized, I get to overcome most of the "emotional" things in about a month. In short, BUWANON ko. :)) May 19 at 11:09pm.

Ba't ba ako nagkakagusto sa mga bakla??? *sighs* May 20 at 10:47pm.

"This goes out to all Liya's here tonight." - Wow. Of all peole. And of all songs! Hehe. (Listening to soulstring with Yeng and Jan.) May 21 at 6:18pm.

"One tall javachip frappuccino blended coffee for Leiya..." - Whew! After that 4-hour wearisome series of exams, I definitely needed that starbucks coffee. :D May 22 at 1:22pm.

Just came from Ruvi Cave Resort (Minglanilla) for our Highschool reunion/outing yet again. Gamay ra ta pero nalingaw japun ko. :D Sa uulitin! May 23 at 9:06pm.

*smelling* Separation pay. Hmmm... I hope it would last another 2 months. :)) May 24 at 6:17pm.

Ok first thing... WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO??? Sh*t! 3 out of 4 slacks of mine no longer fit!!! I seriously seriously need to lose weight. Like, NOW NA!!! May 25 at 3:36pm.

Financial Controllee. May 26 at 8:21pm.


I'm actually excited. Pero hindi ibig sabihin nun ay gusto ko BUKAS agad! Naman Namaaan! Give us time to prepare ourselves! May 27 at 9:06pm.

Sakit akong kalawasan. Bwesit nga TIN number!!! Ug nganong wala diay koy TIN tapos gabayad ko? Tsk2. BAD. BAD. :D May 28 at 10:23pm.

Official first day of work. I feel a nosebleed coming like an avalanche! Dapat ko magre-read sa ako college books ani. :D May 29 at 10:33pm.

Just got home from an extraordinary flashback of elementary days. Whew! So happy to see them again after 10 long years! Sa uulitin! May 31 at 12:00am.

Why do I always have less sleep on MONDAYS??? Or don't we all? :)) May 31 at 9:43pm.

I almost lost my virginity. IN MY DREAM. Hahahaha. Guess who I ALMOST lost it with??? :D June 1 at 9:44pm.

May nagugustuhan na akong kaopisina. SH*T!!! May identity crisis yata talaga ako. :)) June 2 at 9:50pm.

Can we mix sleeping pills and overfatigue? Natatakot kasi ako. Baka di na ako makagising. God forbid! June 3 at 10:26pm.


I'm giving this job 4 months. :| June 4 at 10:06pm.

I fired my first bullet. It was ground-shaking! LITERALLY. Libre ni Sir sa United Sharp Shooters Club. The recreation for the rich and the famous. :D June 5 at 10:16pm.

I'm wishing the same crazy wish as last year Oct. 22 post. When will this cycle ever end??? Tsk2. June 6 at 9:54pm.

I never thought my profession could be "physically rewarding"! Had I known, I would have rather been a stripper down Silver Dollar bar. June 7 at 10:55pm.

Nung naglalakad ako pauwi, sa madilim na eskinita, biglang may kumausap sakin. Stranger: "Call center ka miss noh?" Me: "huh?" Stranger: "Convergys?" Me: "Sauna." Then I realized, kasakay man mi ganiha! June 8 at 10:44pm.

She has a girlfriend. OFF-LIMITS. :D June 9 at 10:58pm.

First boardroom meeting. With a Miranda Priestly-ish boss and an elegant conference room, It felt just like the movies! May reporting pa! In TAGALOG! :)) For the first time since I got hired, all felt right. I wonder how long it will last. :)) June 10 at 10:19pm.

Sh*t!!! Miranda Priestly terminated LADY CRUSH!And for such an unreasonable argument! Now, why do I still have to go to work then? Tsk2. Is this a blessing in disguise for my wavering identity? :)) June 11 at 10:48pm.

Sleeping over at [tagged person here]'s place with [tagged person here]. Nag early pamiesta. :)) Btw, this two made me realize once again how DENSE I really am. They make me think of options. :D June 13 at 12:39am.

Give me 4 things and I'm all yours. :) June 13 at 4:47pm.


♫♪ Our little conversations... are turning into little sweet sensations. And they're only getting sweeter everytime... ♪♫ At least, you give me something happy to think about. :) June 14 at 4:58pm.

I wish it was as easy as that. But it never was. It never has been. T_T June 15 at 10:52pm.

The bravest thing I have yet done. Nobody wants to help me out. So I'll help myself OUT instead. I'm free yet again. :) June 16 at 7:01pm.

Me: Guard, ibilin lng ni nako ha? Naa ray mopick-up ani taga accounting.
Guard1: Para kang kinsa?
Me: Kang Louise.
Guard1: Imong bana?
Me: Huh??? Bae man na.
Guard2: Kabalo siya naa kay gibilin?
Me: Yi.
Guard2: Pagbilin lng ug number kay basin dili nya mapick-up, makontak ra ka.
Me: Aw. Ok ra man. Matawagan rman nako sila.
Guards: *smiling like mad*
Me: What? Ahhh.... hahahaha. June 17 at 8:04pm.

2 slices of pizza, one javachip starbucks coffee, and an animated movie is my idea of a treat. Thanks. :D June 18 at 6:13pm.

For the first time, natyotyope ako sa isang lalake. Weird. I have always been confident around men. But with him. It's different. :) June 19 at 1:57pm.

Shhyeeet!!! I should seriously hide my statuses from kins and elderly neighbors. Starting with this one! >:( June 19 at 9:47pm.

I wish it was easy to say Happy Father's Day, or Happy Mother's Day, or Happy birthday, or Merry Christmas. I wish it was easy to hug, to do a pat in the shoulder, to give a card, or to give a present. The idea is so repulsive I don't even want to think about it. I guess, I've gotten to the worst point with their parenting. But it could not get any worse right? :) June 20 at 11:32am.

If HIV can also be spread through saliva, wounds, and a prick of a needle, where's the fear for random sexual intercourse now? The world is beginning to be a scary place. Tsk2. June 21 at 6:50pm.


Why are there no female taxi drivers? June 22 at 10:46pm.

MY studies show that people secrete oil MORE if they're in front of the computer. Darn! This is baaad. :)) June 23 at 2:22pm.

My drunk father was doing his usual rantings whenever he's intoxicated and told me, "Pasagdii lng na imong mga igsoon, ikaw naay trabaho, ikaw lay sabot. Simbako ug naay mahitabo namo, maglisod nya kag pangitag kinsay mo unong nimo." Mostly it was all gibberish at first but I got one thing clear, that I should change how I view FAMILY. :) June 24 at 4:11pm.

Sino ba yang lintik na GOSSIP GIRL na yan?! June 25 at 3:36pm.

Just got home from Clew's surprise bday celeb. I promise I'm not gonna mix starbucks and acting again. :D June 27 at 12:12am.

Just woke up. Coz I practically spent my dawn at the hospital. 2nd time I was rushed to ER but this time, it was due to chest tightening and leg numbness. I'm never drinking coffee again. :( June 27 at 4:00pm.

"Everyone is so concerned about making sure that my heart is functioning well. But my heart, my heart has been broken so many times trying to keep myself alive. I'm not sure there's much of a life left for me." -Working Girls. June 28 at 4:24pm.

I hate liars and pretenders. Seriously. Lucky for you I don't have the energy to even raise an eyebrow! *seething* June 29 at 9:40pm.


Going out with friends is gradually turning into a three-is-a-crowd theme. Darn. I seriously need to get a boyfriend. :)) June 30 at 8:26pm.

Forgot to put my daily status yesterday. So imma have 2 today. Yay! Well... well... well... yesterday, I was editing my blog for 10 hours. It still unfinished. Gawd, I'm THAT OC. And later, will be off to watch Eclipse with [tagged person here]. Don't be late! Or I guess, you should tell me that too. :)) July 3 at 12:44pm.

If I get absurdly rich, first thing I'd like them to build for me is a raining bed. So I won't have problems sleeping ever again. I just hope I remember this when I get rich though. Might make a blueprint. Who knows, it might cost a fortune. :D July 3 at 10:55pm.

Pwede mo ba akong samahang magsimba next time? :) July 4 at 7:15pm.

I don't dig conceited men okay? So back off. July 5 at 10:14pm.

I'm not crazy. I just tink out loud. Okay mother? Hehe. July 6 at 2:06pm.

So... if you're Ron and she's Hermione... then I'm HARRY POTTER???! July 7 at 1:01pm.


How can a person be so rotten? When they're not even a fruit. They're supposedly MORE than that. :)) July 8 at 1:32pm.

I have an idea. July 9 at 6:08pm.

Darn this stupid cold! I don't even know why I got one. When I spend all my waking hours at home now. Yevi. July 10 at 2:22pm.

Why are there green poop? A friend said, eating stick-o all day produces green poop. Wow. :)) July 11 at 1:32pm.

Her: Ara ra ka sa imong kwarto pirmi? Di ka mabore???
Me: Heck no. I'm the type of person who never gets bored. Just needs the right broom. :) July 12 at 3:47pm.

To quote: "If you were a boy, you'll fall in love with yourself." July 13 at 4:47pm.

I'm broke. So stop asking me out on a movie. Unless you're planning to buy me a ticket? :)) July 14 at 12:02pm.

The very thing I detest is cancelled appointments. Sana maisip din nila na we also have our own scheds that we gave up just for it. And I'm talking to "a second person singular pronoun". >:( July 15 at 2:49pm.

Sometimes I'm reminded of your hug in its exact detail. That was one of my memorable moments mind you. I wish you were here... :( July 16 at 1:08pm.

I don't take direct offense. Unless clearly stated. July 17 at 5:07pm.

Nagtatanong ako ng maayos kaya sagutin mo rin ako ng maayos. Please lang. July 18 at 3:07pm.



Simple lng naman ang pangarap ko eh. Kaya siguro sa kasimplehan, pati ang Diyos nagreklamo at gusto itong bigyan ng kulay. Yan tuloy, kelangan ng matinding pagpupursigi makamtan lng ang simpleng pangarap. :( July 19 at 6:14pm.

♫♪ I just need somebody to love... ♪♫ July 20 at 3:13pm.

I abhor committed men who flirts with me. Nawawala ang respeto ko sa kanila. July 21 at 12:42pm.

Sabi nila magiging cheesy rin daw ako kapag na-inlove ako. I daresay, No, not really. :)) July 22 at 6:10pm.

Has gone into hiding... July 23 at 1:01pm.

Wow. I've got more greetings than last year. Did you know? That I appreciate more if you greet me in facebook? Hahahaha. Mababa lng naman ang kaligayan ko. :D Salamat sa lahat ng naggreet, im almost wasted right now but I can digest all. Cheers! :D July 27 at 10:37pm.

Salamat sa lahat ng nag.greet. But I have to go back to hiding again. Until further notice. :D For the meantime, I'll leave you with my quotes. Au revoir! July 28 at 1:28pm.

Do not take counsel fo your fears lad... fortune favors the brave. -- Babe 2. July 28 at 1:30pm.

Ghosts... they are the completions of the deads intended gestures, there unfinished plans still hanging in the air - something like when you forgot one thing and so you pantomime the motion. -- Breathing Lessons. July 29 at 1:11pm.



Women are the discerning ones when it comes to the dynamics of interpersonal relationship. -- The Saving Graces. July 30 at 10:49pm.

People in my profession are second only to barmen in knowing about the problems of the heart. -- If Only. July 31 at 10:17pm.

Faith doesn't give warranties. -- She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb. August 1 at 10:25pm.

Too much humility is pride. -- Math D Professor. August 2 at 12:33pm.

Terms don't define our lives. Our lives define our terms. -- Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris. August 3 at 11:17am.

Do you see a theme emerging? Women like flowers; men like food! -- Boy Meets Girl. August 6 at 12:26pm.

I thought lightning doesn't strike twice??? Then there was FIRE and nothing is left but ashes. We are going back to square one again. I will miss our house. Can I just cry it all out? T_T August 9 at 3:07pm.


Salamat sa tanan who expressed their concern. It's always the thought that counts most. Kapoya biya jud ug balik sa uno. But we have to right? There's nowhere else to go but forward. Masunugan or sa dili. For nwo, I rest my case. :) August 11 at 5:52pm.

Ug sa dihang naaksidente akong papa as he was cleaning up the ruins sa balay. Almost fell in my uncle's septic tank. Half the body inside. Pero nakatukod ang wala nga kamot sa gawas. Resulting to a crack in his upper arm bone. May lead to an operation. Wow. Could this get any worse??? August 13 at 6:09pm.

I will disappoint you yes. But I have to throw aside my dreams for the sake of family. No matter how much I detest going back. At least now, I have the right motives. I hope you'll understand. For betterment and beyond! August 14 at 11:17am.


Salamat sa pagbisita [tagged people here] and her bf. Para akong pasyente sa ospital nehto. Hehe. But thanks much. It made me realize I still have my friends. August 17 at 4:24pm.

With you, the world seems a little less gray. :) August 17 at 5:33pm.

And now our 2-week-old baby may undergo operation too. Yevi. They say, when it rains it pours, that's a stupid lie! It's storming out here!!! August 19 at 10:55am.

I surrender... August 19 at 6:08pm.

There are irresistible forces. And I'm succumbing to it. So I'm rearranging my life and my connections. Except for you. :) August 20 at 4:15pm.

Will be going back to hiding yet again. Will leave you with quotes and scraps of news. Btw, my globe phone is busted so for my globe pipz, don't txt me nor reply sa globe ko. I'm using smart and sun. Ok? C yah around! Xoxo. August 21 at 4:47pm.

"I couldn't help but think that God had turned against my mother... But I had been taught that you didn't have to be a sinner to suffer undue misfortune." -- The Grave of God's Daughter by Brett Ellen Block. August 22 at 3:11pm.

"Skepticism is luxury." -- The Saving Graces by Patricia Gaffney. August 23 at 4:12pm.

To my SUN pipz: I'm not loading my sun for quite a while now and I guess for more weeks to come. Pacenxa sa wala nako mareplyan ug matxtsan esp. kang [tagged person here] nga nangasaba. :D You can still contact my sun but my main number now is smart. "Let the dark clouds disperse, lest, insanity creeps in... " August 25 at 3:17pm.

Saw a lot of familiar faces in i2 earlier today. So unlike me to not go up to them and chat. I guess now is not the right time anyway. Don't know when either. August 27 at 5:10pm.


I guess I still had a bit of luck. I hope it grows. So I can be a full-pledged banker. :) August 28 at 8:51pm.

Long distance. Right. *sighs* August 31 at 7:37pm.

I'm getting them outta here if that's the last thing I'll do. >:( September 3 at 3:49pm.

I hope I'll find good friends there too. :) September 4 at 5:21pm.

Happy 1st. :) September 6 at 5:41pm.

Training starts today. Fighting! September 8 at 9:30am.

Me: *Was given a piece of company paper. Sniffed it. Poked the befriended seatmate.* "It smells good."
Wavemate: *Sniffed his paper too. Cursed.* "I don't know why I listen to you."
Me: "Hahahaha." September 10 at 5:11pm.

Unspeakable. Scary. :| September 11 at 4:37pm.

Don't look at me like that! Or I'll eat you. Rawr! :)) September 14 at 5:50pm.

I feel so dim-witted when I sit next to her. And between you and me, that's saying something. :D September 15 at 8:15pm.

Why is everything I own rubbish? Why am I blister prone?? And why doesn't SM do something about their taxi lane??? September 17 at 10:07pm.

Movie marathon at [tagged person here]'s place with [tagged person here]. Pero naa jud super late. Naglagot ko kadjot. :P September 18 at 11:41pm.


I'm losing my patience... *sighs* September 19 at 8:16pm.

When I decided to go back, I decided to throw away everything. I think, the "everything" did the same thing to me. :D September 20 at 7:12pm.

For the first time in 5 years, I'm living off my parent's money. I'm ecstatic coz it's free. But I hate it coz it's LIMITED. :)) September 22 at 6:39pm.

Can I get your number and email address? For... you know na. :D September 24 at 7:37pm.

You do these little things that I never expect from you. You know what, those really work. Especially for me. <3 September 24 at 7:43pm.

Had a great feast with the family day earlier. Had a fun-filled night out with League 2. [tagged person here] Idol! :D September 26 at 3:35pm.

Is looking for an airconditioned room just for sleeping purposes. Kanang barato ug dli located sa espidnong karaan. Would be happy for suggestions. :D September 26 at 9:17pm.

Nganong ma-ibog man jud kog bayot??? Grr... :)) September 28 at 8:10am.

Earlier, at the start of LEGEND OF GUARDIANS last full show (SM), I was shocked at how they do now their flag ceremony. Seriously patriotic but one I applaud of. Good job! October 3 at 1:17am.

I never thought men could be so MELODRAMATIC. *rolling eyes* October 3 at 9:59pm.

Nosebleed. Information overload. Headache. I wish I listened to my Math B professor. I believe I was chatting with my seatmate the entire time I guess. :)) October 6 at 8:38am.

Gloomy 2nd. I did say I can't stand long distance. :( October 8 at 10:00am.

If he's not fighting for me, then I'm not fighting for him either. :| October 9 at 8:51am.

Kilatan unta ning mga bentahosang silingan. :)) And I hate VECO! Someday, you'll lose your monopoly. Hmph. October 10 at 3:05pm.

He was my chessbuddy. And he never won against me. So much for being a gentleman. :)) October 11 at 9:55am.

First day of Making calls. I never thought I'd miss inbound calls. Na stress ko. I hope I'd get by. Fighting! October 13 at 10:03am.

So how did he really met their mother??? buang ni nga series hap. Nagparehas lng sa gossip girl. :D October 14 at 9:48am.

Happy fiesta sa amo. I mean, happy nlng. :)) Way hikay. Pero dghang tugsh2 later. Buti nlng may kuryente na rin kami sa wakas after  months. Busy weekend. October 17 at 9:33am.

To quote: "She's now my present." Yay! ^_^ October 18 at 4:59am.


I like the drumroll too. But I'd surely kiss Ted if that was me. *salivating* :)) October 20 at 9:52am.

I know I won't find the other pair of my black boots in this whole house of a mess. I'll assure myself in thinking, it should be here... SOMEWHERE... :)) October 22 at 10:16am.

To quote: "Hug ko bi..." Only two men have asked me this. One I regret not hugging and another I'm glad I did but I wished I didn't. Why do old flames die hard? :D October 24 at 7:49am.

Hindi ko na lng iniinda ang mga kamalasan ko sa buhay kung gusto kong manatili sa tamang pag-iisip. October 25 at 8:28am.

I regret finding a job without securing a proper place to live in first. T_T October 27 at 12:34pm.

LOVE, is for lucky people. LIFE, is for lucky people as well. :| October 28 at 11:15am.

I saw a Josenian guy wearing the old male uniform yesterday with the same built as his. Then, I missed him like crazy. :( November 1 at 1:49am.

The only problem I have of finding a fashionably fit wardrobe is... choosing flip-flops. Seriously. :D November 2 at 1:06am.


Hindi ko alam kung bakit ang init ng dugo nya sakin. Dahil ba sa nafe-feel nyang magkabaro kami? Ay, threatened Te? :)) November 4 at 10:13am.

I nvr thot I can run in a marathon! Dnt get me wrng thou, I got out of a 3K race aftr 300m. Hahaha. Now at mcdo IT PARK enjoying my cokefloat. Enjoy ur run frens! November 7 at 5:11am.

If I answer the question, will you listen? *raising eyebrows* November 8 at 10:34am.

He messaged me just to say he's off fb for a while. Ahhh... How sweet! Natouch ko. Keep going. :D November 9 at 11:22am.

I refuse to become a guinea pig on an experiment for the greater good! That's why I'm in rebellion. o.O November 10 at 11:56am.

What's the difference between a pantyliner and a pantyshield? November 14 at 7:17pm.

Just finshed season 4 of HIMYM. I think I'm falling for Barney Stinson. My confusion for gender is getting severe. So help me gawd. :D November 15 at 1:19pm.

I have wanted you. Now I want you back again. And I want you baaaad! :)) November 16 at 8:53am.

Sana mamatay nlng lahat ng lamok at ipis sa mundo. Seriously, I don't get their role in the ecosystem. Not to mention, food chain! November 17 at 12:15pm.



I'm canvassing for an iPod Touch 4th gen. Any suggestions where to get the best sale? November 18 at 11:53am.

I finally have our wifi back on! I'm going to be online everyday now. Weee.... Currently syncing my itouch. Pak! November 22 at 2:49am.

To quote: "You are like my psychologist."
-Well, thank you. I may seem like one but I'm crazy as hell too! :D November 23 at 10:39am.

To whoever invented e-books... I AM YOUR GREATEST FAN!!! :D November 24 at 12:50pm.

No work later for thanksgiving! Witweew. To quote: "There's more to life than watching other people live it. Hey, I think it's great that you're so good with your job. I'm just a little worried as to why?" -In short, take a break! :D November 25 at 12:56pm.

I keep putting off having this tooth removed. When I know I'll eventually get to the part where it's already painful to the touch. Pain, do remind me often. :D November 26 at 11:36am.

Sa discohan...
(gikan ko sa CR)


Him: Sa sunod mananghid. *gisapot*
Me: Ha? Asa man kuno ko mananghid? *confused*
Him: *pointing at himself*


Esturyahe!!! Kagilok, nag CR ra gani. :D I think he probably thought I went off with the guy I was just dancing with. :)) November 27 at 9:42am.

I need to find a masquerade ball gown that's for rent before Dec.11. HELLLPPP!!!! November 28 at 12:37pm.

I was never a jewelry fan. One set will do for a lifetime. I daresay my future man can exclaim, "I'm relieved!" November 29 at 7:05am.


♫♪ You try so hard to hide the spark in your eyes. And I ignore it even if it excites me deep inside. Coz I'm strong. And I know that it's wrong. And to each other we simply don't belong. So I should be able to control what's going on. But NO... -going back to sleep with this in mind... :) ♪♫ November 30 at 5:01am.

is on oatmeal/bread/fish diet. I pray I can sustain it. For the love of thy self! :D December 1 at 12:43pm.

Gwapa keo si Quinn oi! Siya na jud ang real-life Barbie! Nice duet. But I liked their first duet better. :D December 2 at 2:07pm.

I like it. But sometimes I dont. I really really like it. But sometimes I really really dont. I seriously would like to keep it. But does it want to keep me? December 3 at 11:35am.

Just came home from Camotes with wavemates. Worth every penny. Bisan walay tarong tulog. Mamawi ko run. :D Off to slumberland... December 7 at 1:49pm.

Mission accomplished: Repeat wardrobe after 3 months. :)) December 8 at 12:31pm.

I can't push myself to you. I know I'm never going to be enough. So it's better to keep my distance. But I'll always remember how you made me feel. And that has always been enough. :| December 9 at 3:25pm.

Excited na for the year-end masquerade ball later tonight! Wa gud katulog. Pinatyanay na ni! December 11 at 2:01pm.

I usually just say I'm ok even if I'm not. That's because it's tolerable. But when I say I am NOT ok. Believe me when I do. Because I mean it. And I know that goes for everyone else. :) December 13 at 2:25pm.

♫♪ Ow it hurts me when you're with another... But I have no right coz I'm not your lover... ♪♫ December 14 at 10:02am.


♫♪ Come dance with me one more time before I... abandon your love... ♪♫ December 15 at 1:33pm.

You do not deprive me of the only thing that keeps me sane! You have no right. For that, you just lost my genuine adherence to your authority. December 16 at 11:27am.

Naglalambing lng naman ako sa mga taong komportable ako eh. :D December 17 at 1:05pm.

In our busy schedules, an appointment is an appointment. How much more when it is with old friends? There should be no question on that. December 18 at 10:01pm.

♫♪ Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out, of my life... Goodbye my almost lover... ♪♫ December 20 at 5:23am.

Heybi Birtdi to my father. 63yrs and counting! December 20 at 9:31pm.

♫♪ Unsay problema, nganong magparamdam gihapon ka. Ayaw ko ingna nagbasol ka karong, wala na tang duha... Dugang2 ka lang. Sakit lng ka sa dughan... unsa man gyud nang imoha?... PALAGOT SA KONTRA! ♪♫ December 21 at 2:50pm.

Him: Love you...
Me: I don't love you.
Him: I know you do.
Me: Pwede hanggang like lang? Love is such a big word. Hahahaha.
Him: Hahahaha. We'll see. :) December 22 at 12:13pm.


Life has finally gotten to my nerves. This has become the saddest time of my year. I wish there was a cure. But the impairment is irreparable that even the highest dosage of anti-depressants wouldn't suffice. December 23 at 12:07pm.

I'd like to spend christmas away from home. For the first time. I'll go out later after sleeping. Might go wandering a mall or crash a friends place and get drunk. Wanna join me? December 24 at 2:25pm.

I feel like I'm watching the  world through a magnifying glass. O_O Earth calling LEAH! :D December 25 at 12:35pm.

I'm a very bad liar. So pardon me if I hoose to comment not. :) December 26 at 11:45pm.

Met with my serious talkers [tagged people here] finally! Plus 2 coincidental guests, [tagged people here]. Akalain mo nga naman? :D December 28 at 3:27am.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mas masakit ngayon. Ang magselos sa isang babae, o ang magselos sa isang lalake? *sighs* December 29 at 1:18pm.

You make me hope again. And I don't know if it's a good thing. :| December 30 at 11:15am.

Hey mga nurse friends, what med can I dirnk for swelling gums? Pain reliever lng? December 31 at 2:18pm.






Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I'm like...

I'm like Pinocchio. It shows when I lie. :D

I'm like Steve in ALL ABOUT STEVE. Easily gets overwhelmed. Of what? Just watch the movie. :P

I'm like Alice in Wonderland. I have an imaginary world. With imaginary friends, imaginary enemies, and of course, an imaginary boyfriend. :))

I'm like Bella from New Moon. I'm forbidden to remember. But I'm terrified to forget. Indeed, it's a hard line to walk.

I'm like a daughter-in-law. And your my mother-in-law. You give me ambivalent feelings. :D

I'm like a moth to a flame. I get drawn to artificial or candle lights. And sooner or later it will burn me out... If I'm not careful. You see, I'm the moth. You're the flame. :)

I'm like a package. Signed, sealed, and delivered. Never owned and never opened. Just ignored, unnoticed. To the latest recipient, please for once, have the decency to RETURN TO SENDER under such circumstances. :)

I'm like the SPHINX. (Albeit with lesser monstrosity) I thrive on riddles for passage. Speak in riddles for concealment. Too personal, yet encrypted. Like exposing your innermost thoughts yet undecipherable by the naked eye. Thereby passage would mean trust. Concealment would mean understanding. :)

I'm like JACK of all trades. I have so many passions in so many fields, that I am a master of none. I wish I was great at something.

I'm like Anne Frank. Oppressed by the wars of the world. Yet undeterred. That long talk made me feel like I defended myself from all of it. Again. Thanks. :)

I'm like a general ledger. And you are under my doubtful accounts. As to when to write you off, that is subject for further analysis. :D

I'm like THE MAN WHO CAN'T BE MOVED. I sit still waiting. Waiting for something unexpected. Because I promised. And I always try not to break a promise. But why does it feel like such a curse? :(

I'm like Cinderella. By the time it strikes 10am, I should be out of the unending mind game. Running. Running for cover.





Monday, July 25, 2011

FB Statuses 2009

Created this pic myself. :D

For all that is left... May it last. June 18 at 10:44am.

For in it's innermost depths... Youth is lonelier than old age. June 23 at 11:39am.

Torn between what is, and what could be. *sighs*. June 26 at 10:14am.

Ang daming tao sa SM. [There's a lot of people in SM (a mall)] Saw familiar faces. I saw Jason my teammate, or was it Jason? Malayo kc. [Rather far.] Then saw Emma of wave 43, may kasama atang bf. [seems like she's with her bf.] Uyyyyy Emma! Nakita ko rin si Dennis from wave 44, laag pud daw xa. [Saw Dennis also from wave44, also just strolling.] Ultimately, nakasalubong ko si TL Penni papuntang c. [crossed paths with TL Penni as well going to] June 28 at 8:32pm.

Danshine gwanhayeo moduneun cheorul aneuru chodaehanda. goriko naneun chinssaro wae-e gwanhaeseonen moreunda... Chinssaro. Naneun moreunda. July 1 at 12:44pm. [I can't remember what I meant by this too. Nyahaha.]

One need not put up with unpleasant things. There are remedies after all. -- A Book of Dreams by Christina Pantoja Hidalgo. July 5 at 9:45am.

Can somebody teach me discipline??? I badly need it. Eversince. July 8 at 3:14am.


~~And I don't wanna be your friend...~~ July 10 at 3:00pm.

I like dead-end signs. They at least have the decency to let you know you're going nowhere. -Bugs Bunny. July 12 at 8:47am.


A miserable being must find another miserable being. Then he's happy. -- The Lady and The Tramp. July 15 at 11:52am.

If she'd wanted where desire could never exist, she could overcome it. -- Sweet Revenge. July 18 at 9:08am.

And this is where I shut up. *defeaning silence*. July 20 at 7:00am.

I vowed to stay silent but this is another thing. I need to express. My keyboard is busted. Think i'm calm? No. I can't even do an exclamation point. My capslock wont work. And this status msg took me 5 mins to type. Don't ask why. - ow wat a day. July 21 at 9:32am.

The feeling is overwhelming. And I'm SCARED of it. July 25 at 9:25am.


WHAT THE HECK??? Who is singing GROW OLD WITH YOU sa television??? mgbalik2 nsad na sa ako utok run for the next few days. [It will be in my head again and again] Grrr... Harhar! July 26 at 9:03pm.

So I guess, I'm a year older. Congratulations! July 27 at 5:43am.

Salamat sa nigreet nako! [Thanks for those who greeted me!] It is highly appreciated! Especially sa nicomment! Hehehe. Ang wala ni greet nako kay next year nlng greet ha? [To those who didn't, just greet me next year ok?] joke! Pero nalain jud ko kay ang akong giexpect nga mogreet, wala jud ni greet nako. [But I was hurt for those people who I expected to greet but didn't.] You know who u are pipz. Hahaha. K. July 8 at 8:47am.

~~ And now... take my heart back... leave ur pictures on the floor. Steal back my memories... I can't take it anymore. I've cried my eyes out... and now I face the years... ~~ July 29 at 1:58pm.

Will be off for another wave lunch out. Late na naman ako! [I'm late again!] Waaaaaaaa. Gotta go. July 30 at 10:49am.

I find anybody's pain funny. Except my own. -- Flushed away. July 30 at 6:25pm.


THIS has got to stop. July 31 at 2:29am.

~~In Christ alone... I place my trust. And find my glory in the power of the cross... In every victory, let it be said of me... My source of strength... My source of hope... ~~ *singing with Brian Litrell. August 3 at 4:21am.

Is eating at Jocobos IT park with teammates. And wud u bliv m changing my status using Dirk's fon??? Suya qw! [Envious!] Hahaha. TL Tin nsan ka na? [TL Tin where are you?] :D August 3 at 8:07am.

I can break your heart if you keep on breaking mine. August 3 at 11:27am.

I recoil in the slightest of pain. Stupid question: Is it a good or a bad thing? August 5 at 9:34am.

Just when I accepted that things can work out... Everything became perfectly clear! Arrghhhh!!! I hate this. August 8 at 6:16am.

Is now signing off to give way sa aking mga pamangkins. Waaaaa... ang lake na ng utang ko!!! Pagkatapos nila, sleep na rin me. Good nyt nocturnal people. And now i take my day off... August 9 at 9:15am.

I'm taking my pain relievers more often these days. THIS is not good. Really. I'm scared. :( August 9 at 7:40pm.

I forgot to on leave for August 18!!! I'm not exaggerating but that day wud reli b chaotic. For which I actually welcome with unparalleled fervor! And so we meet agen... August 14 at 4:36pm.

I feel so euphoric i can hardly contain it! And i pray to all the angels and saints that nothings gonna go wrong tomorrow! I feel like breeding this joy later tonight --- Hindi ko kayang tagalugin to, kaya pagpasensyahan nyo na. [I can't tagalized this so bear with me.] At akoy matutulog na. [And now I'm sleeping.] August 17 at 10:57am.

Will be a busy two weeks now. And I'm so sleepy but i dont know where to sleep in this mess! by the way, I gave up my buwan ng wika mode, hindi ko na kaya! [Can't take it!] hahaha. *going back to english settings* August 18 at 4:08pm.

~~I realized the way your eyes deceived me... The tender looks that I mistook for love... ~~ (wow yevi. old school lageh ko run.) August 20 at 10:02am.

I planned to change my status for a mushy one today. But wen i opened fesbuk, binulaga ako ng bad news. Ruther, u wer the first one who asked me, "ARE U TALKING TO URSELF?" when i was talking to my monitor sa floor na wlang customer sa linya, right then, we became frens, and its so depressing to lose one. I just hope that werever u might be, ur happy. We pray for u and for the loved ones u left behind. RIP Ruther. :( August 22 at 9:06am.

I told u that if you will find somebody else, I'll let u go. The jerk did not listen. Now, I really don't want to be ur friend. August 24 at 6:58am.


I thot wat we had was special. But I've heard, its the same with everydy else and those bfore me. I agree, men ARE polygamous in nature. :P August 27 at 7:43am.

My 9 yr old spokening dollars pamangkin [nephew] just told me wat i feared I had bcome. He said, "you know wats weird AUNTIE LEAH (with such slang), u dont do anything but, computer, sleep, and work." Nyahaha. KIDS DONT LIE. August 29 at 12:31pm.

This is the second time iv had this weird impulse. I was downstairs eating and the phone rang. It's near me so i picked it up and i was about to answer, "THANK YOU FOR CALLING MICROSOFT..." O_O August 30 at 7:59pm.

Slowly we're growing apart. Which is what I said I needed. But why does it have to feel so sad? *sighs* September 1 at 1:20pm.

Misery alternates with euphoria. - The Saving Graces... I agree. and now, there were no more tears shed. I guess, goodbyes is a matter of getting used to. I pray u have a safe trip beloveds. Bon Voyage. See you in 2 years! :) September 2 at 12:11pm.

UP movie + 3D glasses + Oishi manju bigbox + coke + Kat = A very good saturday afternoon. September 5 at 8:59pm.

Why do hospitals dont have wifi??? Or is it just Chong Hua? Well anyway, the world should have free wifi!!! Wifi everywhere! :D September 8 at 1:52pm.

Insincerity disgust me. September 11 at 10:38am.

Let me have this time for myself. To think things over A lot of people are cutting me off, is leaving me, or will be leaving me. This is just depressing. I keep my friends. But my concern always, is if they too would want to keep me. :( September 12 at 11:47am.

I appreciate it. I hope u know. I'm sorry to have caused u this much trouble. I wish u happiness Live well my friend. :D September 14 at 4:46am.

This is just so hilarious and I want to share it. My border, the bigger one, just realized that I talk to myslf. I was like talking to the monitor, or the movie, or to myslf (wudeberucalit) and she was like, "Nagsugod nasad ka. Nisuol nasad imo patol. Kapaet." [You're starting again. You're psychotic again. Ow well.] Don't u just love my kins? :)) September 14 at 5:55am.

Is going introvert. And it's not for the time being. :| September 15 at 10:49am.

Had waited for u for 3 months now. I guess that was enuf. U lost ur chance. And now I'm closing all my doors. September 17 at 11:09am.

What a jampacked weekend that was agen. Woke up 8pm yesterday, CVG office 10pm, made bulletin up until 4:30am, got home 7am today, rested (but wasn't able to sleep), went to church 10:30am, @metro until 1pm, met with SOLID frens at mcdo jones. September 20 at 7:45pm.

Exkayuzme??? Hindi ako mang-aagaw. [I'm not a wrecker.] And never will be. You can take ur man for all I care! I never had time for committed men. I deserve more than that. x-( September 21 at 6:49am.

Im afraid. Of getting trapped in my OWN world. September 24 at 7:46am.

Here goes my mother again with her sunday blues. Old school is killing me! It makes me wanna dance to STUPID CUPID. I'm so into the real world today. I'm even listening to radio music. Shall I watch TV then? :)) September 27 at 9:48am.

If you get stuck in an island and u can choose hu u want to be with, WHO would that be and WHY? September 29 at 8:03am.

Im crying. It's been a long time since I last cried. And guess why? Nah, dont bother. Gawd, I hate this. October 2 at 9:12am.

I don't know wat the consequences my actions will bring. But what the heck. I'll break ur rules now. At least this once. October 4 at 1:14am.

It's hard to get to THE anniversary. But I had promised. And so I will. October 6 at 7:33am

My crush ako sa commercial team. *smug* October 10 at 8:36am.

Was wasted. (or was I?) Just woke up. And sh*t, I feel like crap *puking* October 11 at 9:55am.

In this solitude, accompany me. October 13 at 7:46am.

Is still writhing in terrible pain... spent my remaining vgh hours at the clinic bed. Thank heavens I got home! *giddy* October 15 at 6:51am.

I'd like to have a smoke, sit with an old friend and TALK. The problem is... I DONT smoke. *pissed* October 16 at 9:49am.

The more I think about it, the more appalling the thought becomes. And yet the world is in connivance! Ka-letch. October 18 at 12:10am.

Was wasted agian for the 5th time in my life with [tagged name here], [tagged name here], and the others. Darn this hangovers! October 19 at 11:49am.

Pwede mgkaharmless na aksidente? Tapos mgkatemporary amnesia, mapadpad sa malayong lugar (e.g. Paris?), makupkop ng butihin at mayamang donya, [Can I get into a harmless accident? Then have temporary amnesia, get's stranded in a far away place (e.g. Paris?), be taken in by a wealthy and kind Madame] AND I WILL LIVE HAPPILLY EVER AFTER. -The end- October 29 at 10:10am.

I don't like commercial crush na. Kakainis. :D I'd stay in Limbo again until I find another. Help me find one b. :D October 26 at 11:31am.

Start of my week-long vacation! Weeee... I hope on all hopes I can have it for 9 days... Suntok sa buwan. Hahaizt. October 31 at 8:45am.

Went out with Yeng a.k.a. [tagged name here] earlier. This is what I mean by getting a life. :D I had uber fun and I hope I'll still do for the next few days... Team building, I'm looking forward to meeting u. :D November 3 at 1:43am.

Shopping with [tagged name here] knina Hmmm... I'm getting glimpses of a normal life. :D Passed houses with curtains and people watching TV. I had longed to see the night lights outside while I'm inside watching it. And isn't the lightpost beautiful? :D November 3 at 7:23pm.

Dated myself today coz I was busted by a couple of friends. :D Strolled off alone at SM. Finished [tagged name here]'s Deception Point and had pizza, fries, and coke float in between. Odd, first time ever that Dan Brown failed to surprise me. Next stop, ECLIPSE. November 4 at 8:40pm.

Attended a stranger's wedding. I just realized, when will mine be? Or will I ever have one anyway. Unfortunately, there was no throwing of the bouquet part. Silly. :D November 5 at 7:25pm.

And so my 9 days vacation is now over. It served its purpose but it gave me one last realization. "I'm tired. And I'm desperate." November 8 at 1:53pm.

There's nothing left to lose anyway. So why the heck not?! November 11 at 8:42am.

Just recited my entire life story in the most concise version I could muster. Odd. This time, there was an audience :) November 13 at 10:47am.

Went with [tagged name here] for the movie 2012. It was fund and the movie? Ionno. As per Yeng, it's BOOOO... :D November 15 at 10:41pm.

Watched 2012 again! Waaaaa... Went with [tagged name here] and [tagged name here] this time. I will have less sleep again. But it served its purpose. Buckle up Katio. U have just begun. :D November 17 at 3:21pm.

Nangungupahan sa mismong bahay ng erpatz. Mas mahal pa ang renta sa suggested retail price! Pwede sumama sa susunod na space shuttle mission? :D [Renting even in my parent's place. Costlier than the suggested retail price! Can I go on the next space shuttle mission?] November 18 at 12:04pm.

I'm turning into stone. And is that for the better? or for worse? November 22 at 8:42pm.

Waaaaa... my cellphone is really dead. Good thing warranty still stands. [tagged name here] sowe gyud. Resched? Crap. I have to do EVERYTHING online now. November 23 at 12:04am.

"Watching them, I felt like I better understood what Jacob told me about imprinting before -- it's hard to resist that level of commitment and adoration." - Eclipse. November 25 at 11:26am.

Photoshopping with [tagged name here] and [tagged name here] sa bahay. Since 6am. Wahahahahaha. This is fun. November 27 at 10:03am.

Now where am I going to sleep again in this mess? Thy will be done. :| November 28 at 6:56pm

Akala ko maghihintay ako sa labas ng bahay until 6am. Ug sa dihang sa eskina sa amo naa diay nagrambol. Binuakay butilya! The only ting that unnerved me was that, akong so-called-bro-in-law ug usa ka silingan ang gusto magpinatyanay. Ug kay ang hinungdan ang akong ate??? Weeeee... naa niya ang yawi sa balay. Nakasulod ko. :D [I thought I'll be waiting outside the house until 6am. But then I realized just a few houses from ours, there was some gang fight. Breaking bottles! The only thing that unnerved me was that, it was my so-called-bro-in-law and a neighbor that wanted to kill each other. And that the reason was because of my older sister??? Weeee... she had the keys to the house. So I was able to get in.] November 30 at 3:50am.

Heybi Birtdi to WAVE 42 NACS Microsoft. Weee... Akala ko hindi ako makakaabot. [I thought I won't make it.] :D Kitakits later [tagged names here]. Since we're all on PTO. Let's have a blast! December 2 at 7:12am.

Indeed. The wave outing was superb! Thank you guyz 4 making 8 pocble! Wev owez had a problem wid plannd outngs kc Hehe. Again, hapi anniv wave 42! December 3 at 10:46am.

I live each day. In the present. When will I live for the future? December 6 at 7:29am.

Dating Ava agen. I knw 8s absurb but i cant help 8. Maganda ba ang ninja assasin? [Is ninja assasin nice?] December 8 at 10:45am.

Men are PROUD. But women are PROUDer Please don't prove them wrong. :) December 10 at 10:25am.

Dated [tagged names here]. Wanted to watch Avatar in 3D but none for the time being. Still, it was good. I'm feeling the yuletide season. :) I pray I can get some sleep tonight. Ava, goodluck to us. :D December 24 at 4:04pm.

Forgive and forget. After all it's Christmas. As per the song... ~~It's the time of year, when the world's sincere...~~ Wait, bactrack a bit. Forgetting? Ahm, I still have to work on that. Being a human archive and all. :D Maayong Pasko beloveds! :* December 25 at 8:14am.

Had a great team cwismas party earlier. Now, is in a cwismas celeb and a movie marathon at [tagged name here]. Together with [tagged names here]. I've learnt a new vocabulary today. NaruRudy ako. :)) December 26 at 7:19pm.

You have a better chance of making this work than most forty-year-olds I know... My little middle-aged child. Luckily, you seem to have found another old soul." -- From renee to Bella (Breaking Dawn) As I am middle-aged too, I hope I can find my old soul. Wait, I KNOW I will. And by then, I'm not gonna be afraid. I'll find him. And make him my destiny. Sooner or later. :) December 28 at 8:21am.

YOU distract me. Carry on. *smiles* December 31 at 10:28am.






FB status

Since my blog is my mental note to everything, I couldn't let it pass -- my FB statuses. You know, they are like your daily thought blog. Like a richly-woven blog concisely put in a small paragraph or even a one-liner. Something that you could have had expounded in one page but decided to just let the people read between the lines instead. Except of course for the seriously unnecessary posts. 

We have a lot of thoughts running through our consciousness every minute. You can not expect everyone to listen or read to it now, would you? As per a very cool professor from the movie EASY A, "I don't know what your generations fascination is about documenting your every thought... who gives a rat's ass??" True, who does? Like you being bored to death or taking a dump in an unusual way. SERIOUSLY? I am not against you wasting your energy on blabbering about something so insignificant since this is a free country. It's just that, don't do it all the time and nag about it even. We are of course entitled to our own frivolous time. But do not make it your persona. Your thoughts reflect who you really are. Publicizing it makes it final. You don't always get the chance to prove people wrong after that. Right? That is why, I always make it a point that my statuses are not a waste of space and chance. :)

So anyway, the real reason for this blog is to introduce a new line of category in my all-in-one blogspot. (That seemed like introducing a new clothing line. Haha.) My FB statuses. Since I do believe that they are authentic thoughts that represent me. You'll see them in the next pages. :D

Random trivia: I got the statuses from the Facebook archive I once always updated. It is very complicated. Let me explain. Haha. I print-screen my wall until the last post I updated it with and paste it in MS WORD. Meaning, I have screenshots of my posts and the comments in it Just everything that's in my wall. Simple but tedious. Ow well, that is just me. As what I just recently told my friend Ima, "Once an idea, never remains an idea. Most of the times." I just have to do it you know. :D Lemme give you the picture of the said idea. This was since I started using Facebook. Mental isn't it? :D

UPDATE: But of course it doesn't make sense now that FB has an option to view your posts way back when you first opened it. So much for effort! ^^







Thursday, June 16, 2011

Raining bed

I'm no architect. So pardon my elementary drawing. As long as the point is clear. Besides, I can always hire a technician for this to work. I have my own pretty good mind-blowing blueprint. Fire away! :D

I am an insomniac. And I hate it! Whoever likes not being able to sleep at will? I have always envied those who can sleep in a jiffy. Because it takes a fun-filled outing for me to sleep faster than my head hitting the pillow. Even alcohol can't do it. It gives me palpitations which makes it a whole lot worse! Haha. If you have always been able to take a nap during jeep rides, bus rides (especially with the heat), lunch breaks (or breaks), a power nap after shift before going to an all night party with friends (or naps at that!), then you will not share my gusto for a raining bed.

It takes me an average of 30 minutes to an hour everyday before I can finally doze off. I'm not sure if that is because I think a lot. But dear me, I already think a lot all day! It's not as if I've always had love problems. At least THAT would be understandable. And I've been like this since I was a kid. Especially when my sister was still my "couch"-mate. She turns off the lights you see. And I can't sleep without at least a nightlight on. It's not the usual darkness. It's choking nothingness that one might get inside a covered well! So I'll have to wait for a flicker of light from some holes upstairs (which are from streetlights too) before my eyelids even start to feel heavy. (Imagine!) I guess that explains the dark circles round my eyes no matter how much night cream I put on it. :))

In high school, I got my own room. Got an AC. Got a nightlight. It didn't help. I still had troubles sleeping. So I had my niece sleep with me. But on a separate bed. I can't sleep together with that tornado-sleeping kid. :)) That helped. So I concluded, that it was paranoia that started it all. Then through an unfortunate event, I was able to watch "The Exorcism of Emily Rose". Have you ever had a movie that you wished you had not seen and can't even allow  yourself to think about? This was it for me. I often wake up at dawn even before. 3am to be exact. So imagine my horror when I watched this movie??? Hahahaha. Which was aggravated by another movie, a Filipino movie, "Wag Kang Lilingon". This one had the same concept about 3am. Both movies killed my every inch of need for horror or disturbing films. No more horror /disturbing movies for me after that. It took me years to be able to sleep again after waking up at 3am. Those times were tough for my sanity. Tough times indeed. :D *Footnote: This made me nocturnal. Basically why my call center job fits me. Because I don't have to sleep at night. :D*

Now to the reason why I've always had this crazy idea of a raining bed. I love the rain. Most people don't, especially those outside tropical countries. But it's not the heat I'm biased about. (Though I never liked sunny days.) It's the sound of rain. I read somewhere a long time ago, that the reason why babies respond to humming because that's more or less the sound inside the womb. And isn't the rain like a giant humming engine? Nyahahaha. I guess that's why I like the loud AC's too. It hums. But the rain is waaaaayyyy better! So imagine a bed where the rain is at your command... Feels like my dream of being Storm from X-Men can come true! :D

I had thought of this a long time ago. When I was asked what is the first thing you'd like to have when you get rich. Rain was my first choice. And there would be no more sleepless nights. I still have to get rich though. :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P.S. I have of course thought of the best alternative cure other than this. That is having someone to sleep with. But with getting rich and finding the love of my life, the latter is far more plausible! :))






Sunday, June 5, 2011

Quoted phrases part 10

Alone or not, you gotta walk ahead. Thing to remember is, if we're all alone, then we're all together in that too. -- P.S. I Love You (film) 



That is one great difference between us. Compliments always take you by surprise, and me never. -- Pride and Prejudice (book)



Vanity and pride are different things... Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us. -- Pride and Prejudice (book)

Hahaha. I like you! Nothing you say makes any sense! -- Rio (film) 



If you're ring finger is longer than your index finger, it means you're a lesbian. -- The L Word (tv series)


But the earth does not belong to man. He's only a tiny part of it. Man did not weave the fabric of life. He's but a thread within it. For we all share the same breath. -- Animals United (film)


Magic is just science we don't understand yet. -- Thor (film)


I'm a magnet of unavailable men. And i'm sick of it. -- The Wedding Planner (film)


Don't be your own bully. -- To Be Fat Like Me (film)


The world will tell you who you are, until you tell the world. -- To Be Fat Like Me (film)

New York is never finished... She is a lady only a handful of architects ever get to dance with. Do not miss your turn. -- How I Met Your Mother (tv series)

He was growing quite inattentive to other people and wholly engrossed by her. Could there be finer symptoms? Is not general incivility they very essence of love? -- Pride and Prejudice (book)

Eventually over time, we'll all become our own doppelgangers. This completely different people who just happened to look like us. -- How I Met Your Mother (tv series)

Zachary: Ms. August told me about you being here, helping out. She didn't mention anything about you being a white.
Lily: Maybe she didn't notice. -- The Secret Life of Bees (film)


I resisted you not for the lack of love. But because I was afraid of losing myself in it. -- From Prada to Nada (film)


Truth is nothing. What you believe to be true is everything.  -- Waiting for Forever (film)


Katherine: I need to start fresh, you know... Understand?
Danny: I guess.
Katherine: It's an awful lot of guessing coming through this phone. I'm divorced. I have 2 kids. I don't... I don't have time for guessing. -- Just Go With It (film)


You lied to me by telling the truth? -- Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides (film)


I have to preserve the Ayuzawa the whole day today properly. This digital camera will be the present. Letting you have a sense of self-consciousness is the purpose of this. -- Kaichou Wa Maid-sama (manga)


I just want to stay by his side! For the sake of being qualified to stand by the person you like, there's no other way but to work hard. -- Kaichou Wa Maid-sama (manga)

I just couldn't think someone like you could ever like someone like me. -- Something Borrowed (film)




disclaimer: I don't own the pictures. This is merely to put an image for the quote's resource.





Sunday, May 15, 2011

Quoted Phrases intro

I made this introduction because I feel like I owe my series of blogs about quoted phrases this much. I am not sure how you perceived this part of my blogspot. So I need to clear things out. Melodramatic much. :))

I have started blogging during friendster days here... Leah's time to be heard!. I don't know how to delete this since I already deactivated my friendster eons ago. Haha. If anyone of you knows how, please email me. (SUPER THANKS!) I can only just hope that since friendster draws to a close, my blog there also does the same. :)) Anyway, this was the reason why I started blogging instead of writing on my journal. I used to have a journal. And NO it is not a diary. I have been saying that a journal and a diary is completely different in its functions! Because a diary is a daily account of events while a journal doesn't necessarily connote a daily basis of write-ups. A journal is more of reflections you have and how that made you feel. One which was encouraged by the Campus Peer Ministry I was once a volunteer of. It's more spiritual/psychological/emotional than WHINY! :)) (I'm drifting again with my topic.) I'll just start a new paragraph then. :D

You wouldn't believe me if I say I was not much of a poser during friendster days. And by poser I mean "vanity in pictures". My profile pictures used to be random pics of my idols. (Yes I was pathetic then.) Because I believed that I didn't look good to post pictures of myself. Imagine the difference to how I was now from the year 2004??? Incredible isn't it? Though shocking to most of my high school friends. :D I believed it to be growing more confident of one's self and believing you have a place in the world. Right? :D

Smurfy me!

So that basically follows, that before, I do not give my opinions of certain matters as easily as a blog post. Nor even in a conversation. All the more not in a chat box. I was too reserved and an introvert (Super introvert than how I still am now. Now is improved. Trust me.) I used to care about what others might think of how I view things. (As they are mostly random and weird.) Now, I hardly even care if they read/listen to it or not. We have freedom to express. We just have to maneuver through it. :D

This fixation in quoted phrases was the foundation of my love for vocabulary words, love for essays, and love for a masterpiece of a conversation like "free indirect speech". In short, I love WORDPLAY. That's when everything started. From then on, I became a writer/blogger gradually. I am not a pro. Nor have I boasted myself as so. But I know of a great wordplay when I hear/read one. :)

To wrap it up, (or to clear things out finally after writing those few paragraphs)... My quoted phrases are phrases I have heard or read through books, tv series's, anime's, movies and the like. These are phrases that have caught my attention, during particular conversations of characters, so strongly that I needed to write it down. I write it down with anything on hand, usually it gets saved on my cellphone's drafts. Quoting phrases became automatic to me now. It is not something I seek for just to get one. NO NO. It just gets my attention like a picture of a light bulb on one's head when an idea comes up. Which eventually got numerous that I had to get a drawing book full of it. (I used to have drawing books of stuff so unrelated to drawing. Haha. Check my blogs about it at Harry Potter and My Lexicon) Which I had realized I would lose in a jiffy, and so came my first blog on my first blog post in friendster... My list of quoted phrases from different sources or the one here... Quoted phrases from different sources. I just had a new quoted phrase from one of my favorite TV series How I Met Your Mother that actually triggered this blog. "Eventually over time, we'll all become our own doppelgangers. These completely different people who just happened to look like us." :D